Author Topic: New here looking for your support  (Read 1937 times)

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Offline Margaret hendrie

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New here looking for your support
« on: November 01, 2018, 07:53:30 PM »
Hi there i am new  to all of this, and i do not know if i posting in the right place as i am so confused atm. But do need help.
I lost my son in February this year and then my husband in july and atm. I not know who to turn to.
Have had individual comming to the house but they only want me to talk and it makes me worse. Am so empty just now and not want to continue can anyone help me please.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2018, 09:32:16 PM by Dave Administrator »

Offline Dave Administrator

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Re: New here looking for your support
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2018, 09:43:04 PM »
Hi Margaret and welcome to this group.

I moved your post here in it's own thread as I wanted you to get the best support for you and not in someone else's thread like it was originally, an easy mistake when you don't know how these forums work.

I cannot begin to imagine the pain you must be in loosing two loved ones so close together and my heart goes out to you truly it does. I hope some of our members can give you the support you desperately need to get you through these early days.

May I wish you great strength to get you through this most difficult and saddest time for you now.
 
Take care and please keep posting however small or large you can manage, we need them.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: New here looking for your support
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2018, 07:05:10 AM »
 :hearts: sending you a welcome hug Margaret
Hope you find the forum a source of support xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Margaret hendrie

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Re: New here looking for your support
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2018, 09:24:06 PM »
I cant thank you all for your kind thoughts to me .

Offline Staying Afloat

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Re: New here looking for your support
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2018, 09:25:45 PM »
I'm so sorry Margaret. I lost my mum three months ago and I'm struggling, but you've lost two people that must have been very precious to you, so you must feel even worse than I do. Do you have any other family to help you at this dreadful time? Have you asked for or been offered any counselling? I hope that
posting on this forum can provide some comfort for you.

Offline Margaret hendrie

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Re: New here looking for your support
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2018, 11:52:18 PM »
I thank you for your kind words but i am sure you must be going through the loss as much.as i am for when you loose your mum you also loose your best friend as i have experienced that pain also , but loosing the most precious ones i loved in sich a short time was a nightmare and cpntinues each and  every day and you just  fee  you not  want to carry on.at the moment i have had visits from cruise but i felt it did not help me am under doctor just now and he has put me on antideptressants for he felt i needed them, not a cure as he sad there is no mdicine can ever   help bit was trying just to lift my mood a little .i have a sister who lives close to me with her husnand and she is there for me any time but i even gelt so giilty  in myself for i had this feeling of jealously and that is so bad for i have never been like that in my life, mabye ots the wrong word i say.
Just as i sit and watch the love between the both of them and when her son and daughter visit i geel so empty and i really not want to be there in their house.
My son just had his 40th birthday and dropped dead the following day, was medical neglect from his Gp.and It was such a yerrible shock he went out to take his wee dog out and about 30 minutes later i had police knocking at my door and they adked me if i had a tiny  whippet and automatically i thought she had
Been run over by a car and Paul my son was with her for he had her lead in his hand , i broke down and cried to hom and next thing 2 other police came in a male and female and he had my little dog in his arms  then i knelt down on carpet d
Screaming  and shouting nooooo it cant be no not my Paul and he was only at the bin shed laying out and they would not let me out to go to him, eventually after about more than an hour of them keeping me back i was  lallowed to go see my son , he was laid out on a trolly in.a bag zipped up and i unzipped ot and held him in my arms, they had to pull me off him 
Paul was found dead only 50 uatds from the flat with Fern my wee dog attached to Pauls wrist and lying bedide him.
Omg i am to upset to continue of Graham his dad  will get round to that later  it gives everyone who are so kind wjhy i am looking for help for i felt that talking with people who know exactly this powerful grief and all the stages we have to bare  would  help for sitting with someone  and they want ypu to talk and they listen then finish with a hug till they return did not work for me but mabye some others would. feel good i not know so i decided to look for help elsewhere and i googled for this as i know all of you are sharing grief of some kind and would help me so willing to try as its the hardest thing in my life i have ever done.
But i thank each and everyone  for i know i am not alone that other people are suffering also. So please bare with me.and again i give thanks for any help.

Offline Sandra61

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Re: New here looking for your support
« Reply #6 on: November 04, 2018, 01:09:31 AM »
Oh Margaret, how terrible. I am so sorry for you. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I don't think there can be any words that can provide much comfort for you, but do at least know, we all feel for you so. Lost my mum a year ago and still found myself in tears this evening. However the loss occurs, it is so hard to bear. My mum was let down by the doctors too and might still have been here if she hadn't been and would at least not have had to suffer her two last months enduring all the hospital horror. Say whatever you need to on here. Everyone will understand, I'm sure. Thinking of you...xx

Offline Emz2014

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Re: New here looking for your support
« Reply #7 on: November 04, 2018, 08:29:18 AM »
 :hearts:
Such a traumatic way to find out  :sad:

Being able to talk with others who have lost people too certainly helps.  And everyone here is at different stages, which can give us a little comfort that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  We have a chat room too, I'm not sure what time people are there in the evening but is also a source of 'company' 
http://www.bereavementuk.co.uk/chat/

The beginning of the rollercoaster journey is so horrid. Some days all you can do is be gentle with yourself and try to ensure you eat and drink xx
« Last Edit: November 04, 2018, 08:31:33 AM by Emz2014 »
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Margaret hendrie

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Re: New here looking for your support
« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2018, 09:40:34 AM »
Sorry all  not been on for a short period  but have been in chat roon where there are lovely people  who welcome you with open hearts.
Would like to thank Poppy and Chris who gave me most endearing  chats but to let them know  i have had a bad relapse and had to send for doctor but as soon as i am a little stronger will definitely be back thanks also to everyone   for the support  words ca nnot express how true and good people are suffering  i appreciate everyone and thinking of you all.
Be back when i feel a little bitty stronger so i doing my best but think i need to try more. Love and kind thoughts to everyons hear from you all soon.
Mags  :candle:

Offline Staying Afloat

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Re: New here looking for your support
« Reply #9 on: November 12, 2018, 11:17:19 AM »
Sorry you feel so bad Margaret at the moment. I hope the doctor can help you. Remember people are here to talk to you when you feel a bit better.