Author Topic: Hi, I’m new...  (Read 1996 times)

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Offline Mariapia

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Hi, I’m new...
« on: December 06, 2017, 06:08:31 PM »
Hello everyone,
This is my first time on here.
I lost my beloved husband in August of this year, after over 30 years of marriage. I had nursed him through a long illness but his death was still such a shock.
I am finding the run up to Christmas unbearably painful. How are you all coping?
With love and deepest sympathy for everyone whose grief has brought them here,

Mariapia x

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Hi, I’m new...
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2017, 06:47:26 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug:
Not sure I have any advice about Christmas, I'm struggling a bit this year myself xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline longedge

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Re: Hi, I’m new...
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2017, 10:16:40 AM »
I think that everyone in our position finds the run up to Christmas a very difficult time. This is my third coming up and I feel just as bad as ever. The only thing is that up to now, after they're over,  I've found with all anniversaries, birthdays etc. that they turn out not to have been quite as bad as I feared they were going to be. I don't know if that's what others find.
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline Mariapia

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Re: Hi, I’m new...
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2017, 10:32:51 AM »
Thank you both for your replies. My bereavement counsellor also stresses ‘learning to live with it’, rather than ‘getting over it’.  I hope, in time, I will feel less sad and empty.

Mariapia.

Offline longedge

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Re: Hi, I’m new...
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2017, 08:52:05 PM »
Absolutely right Mariapia. It takes a while but you slowly begin to accept the new reality that you find yourself in. The first few months I remember sometimes thinking that I had just had a bad dream and Chris would be back from shopping soon, or something similar. The one thing that hasn't changed for me one little bit is the feeling that I'm still married making the "until death do us part" feel wrong somehow to me. I'm not sure if that will ever change.
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~