Hi everybody

[Tinytibbs]

Hi, my name is lauren, im 34 and have never used a forum in my life. I lost my dad only yesterday following surgery complications and a stint in itu. I realise this is early days, and I know it's going to be painful...but I never knew quite how terrible I would feel. X

[Norma]

Sending you a welcome hug xxx

 

Give yourself time hun it is really early days for you xx

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug.  It will be a rollercoaster journey but people here understand xx

[Tinytibbs]

Thank you. I wanted to ask if anybody had problems with insomnia following a bereavement? I haven't managed to sleep for 3 nights, mainly running through my head is the regretting of things I should've said but didn't and the time we should've spent together but didn't. I have an 18 month old daughter and the not sleeping on top of it all is making me feel so ill.xx

[Norma]

Lauren you lost your beloved dad yesterday, of course your mind is all over the place all the what ifs and the if only's, it is to be expected, but as you say you  have a 18 month old child to care for so sleeping aids are out of the question, try some natural therapies,  lavendar oil on your pillow, listen to some soothing music as you lay in bed, try to relax your mind, but you must take care of yourself, you need the strength to help you through xxx

 

[Emz2014]

Unfortunately the whirring thoughts in our heads does affect our sleep, especially at the beginning.  Need to try and relax as much as you can and start a 'getting ready for bed' routine to help remind your body and mind to prepare for sleep

I went through a couple of stages of waking at 2 and being awake until 4, I learnt I had to kind of accept it.  Fighting it made it worse, so instead of getting worried about it, I tried to redirect my mind by reading when I woke and going back to bed when I finally felt tired again

Be gentle with yourself and take little steps xx

[Hubby]

Hi tiny tins welcome to the forum.

We nearly all have the period of regrets and guilt in the early stages when the whirlpool of thoughts just won't stop. I had terrible insomnia after losing my wife and had to go on sleeping tablets for a short time. I don't know if they are an option for you with your young child.  It did pass after a few weeks.

Take care.

 

[diane35]

Hi my name is Diane and new to this to. I lost my husband 27.03.16 after a five days in ITU, so can understand what your talking about. I was by his side the whole time he was there, no sleep, my body clock went into overdrive. It is only now that I'm able to go to sleep properly. I found my mind went into overdrive when I closed my eyes, reliving the chain of events and decisions I had to make. I've tried relaxation breathing techniques / soak in tub / reading useful and would recommend giving them a try. It's not going to be easy, you can only take one day at a time.

[Norma]

Sending you a welcome hug Diane xx

 

[Emz2014]

Adult colouring in books can be helpful, as they are a way of meditation but they occupy/direct your mind, which might help. Maybe give one a try and see if it can help calm your thoughts when they are particularly bad xx

[Tinytibbs]

Thank you all so much for your advice. It's so comforting to have found this site. I will definitely be taking it all on board. Diane35 I think you may be right, my body clock is probably all out of sync due to the days and nights in itu. A friend has suggested writing a journal of thoughts and feelings which I might try. It's now only been 3 days but it feels like weeks, the days feel so long filled with so much emotion, it's so exhausting. Wish you all well.xx

[Helen_S]

Hi Tinytibbs
Welcome to the forum. I found that if you can't sleep, you should at least try and rest. Maybe try listening to some relaxation music - that was helpful for me.
Take care
Helen