Author Topic: New here.  (Read 4043 times)

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Offline Julie Magson

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New here.
« on: July 25, 2016, 01:10:17 PM »
Hello everyone, another reluctant member to the club no one wants to be in. I've come here via the FB page. I lost my Husband Alan 11 weeks ago after him being very ill for 2 years and the last 9 months he spent in hospital and never came home. He was so ill and weak that eventually pneumonia gave him release. I am relieved for Alan that his pain and indignities are over and he doesn't have to go through anything medical any more. But for those of us left standing- oh boy. I'm so glad I found the FB page and now have found here as it helps to know that these horrible days and feelings are 'normal' and I'm not going mad.

Offline Norma

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Re: New here.
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2016, 03:46:23 PM »
Sending you a welcome.  :hug:  Julie. Xxx
Its been a rough week but i made it. How about you 💐

Offline Julie Magson

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Re: New here.
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2016, 04:04:07 PM »
Thank you Norma.

Offline Karena

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Re: New here.
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2016, 07:35:38 PM »
 :hug:welcome.there will be times when you think you are going mad.I lost my husband five years ago and I still get those times,you never forget or stop loving them but the pain will become less acute and I guess you learn to live with it.the road ahead is a rocky one but we will be here to try and iron it out as much as we can for you.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: New here.
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2016, 07:49:42 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline sue smith

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Re: New here.
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2016, 08:22:48 PM »
Hello Julie and welcome.  My husband was in hospital for more than 4 months before he died.  It was an awful time,  watching him so ill but always hoping he would come home again.  It took me a couple of years before I was really at peace with the fact that he was now peaceful,  all he went through was dreadful and now I know he is OK again,  but I was not -  I just couldn't believe that after all his years of illness and months in hospital he didn't just get better.  I hope now you will be kind to yourself,  take your time in finding out what you want from your new life,  your peace will come as well in time  xx

Offline Hubby

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Re: New here.
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2016, 11:06:33 PM »
Hi Julie. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

 :hug:

Offline Julie Magson

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Re: New here.
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2016, 12:12:10 PM »
Thank you for your welcomes, so glad I found here.

Offline longedge

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Re: New here.
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2016, 03:10:16 PM »
another reluctant member to the club no one wants to be in

Hi Julie,
You're so right there. If only we could turn the clock back to when we were, I don't know 18 or 21yrs perhaps. I sometimes sit for hours fantasizing about having the chance to do that  :smiley:
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline Norma

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Re: New here.
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2016, 03:26:28 PM »
But would you or could you do anything different longedge, i suspect the answers no. I know i wouldnt wantbto change anything, apart from still having my son and hubby lol but hey ho  xx

 :hearts:
Its been a rough week but i made it. How about you 💐

Offline longedge

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Re: New here.
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2016, 04:19:18 PM »
But would you or could you do anything different longedge, i suspect the answers no.
Absolutely not - I'd do it all again good times and bad just for the chance to be with Chris again. If I could go back knowing what I know now there would be far more times that I would be more kind and understanding. I've got a lot of regrets and would relish the chance to put a lot of things right  but I bet I'm not the only one to think that, truth be know  :smiley:
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline Karena

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Re: New here.
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2016, 08:51:23 PM »
No you're not the only one to think that,but also you would be creating a false you,and a false life,

They  fell in love with us as a whole person just as we did with them,and that has to include our faults and our mistakes because they are part of that whole person.


Offline Emz2014

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Re: New here.
« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2016, 09:35:06 PM »
I recommend not watching 'About Time' early on in a bereavement. Its a beautiful film but also makes you wish you could do exactly this xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Hubby

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Re: New here.
« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2016, 11:32:24 PM »
Your not the only one George. There are s lot of things I would want to change if I could go back.