Grief or depression

[angela33]

Am nearly 9 months on now since my husband John died and I don't know whether I need to get medical help or whether to sit out the strong feelings of sadness and tears I am feeling.  I have had support from a counsellor for 6 months which was hugely helpful and we often talked about the extreme sadness that comes with loss and loneliness.  I am functioning ok, keeping busy, working at my part time job and not collapsing in a heap under the duvet. But just not sure whether I need to medicate?  Really don't want to as I understand the need to go through and experience the painful feelings in order to avoid complicated grief but just wondered what you fellow travellers think about it or what your experience has been.  I know you cant prescribe for me, but your experiences and thoughts would be really helpful. Thank you friends x

[Norma]

Hi Angela my hubby was called John also, i feel for you hun i remember being 9 month in, the realisation really starts to kick to, in terms you accept youre not going to see hear or feel him anymore, eveyone around you lives are carrying on as normal, whille you are so sad and lonely, for me the best therapy was keeping busy through my volunteering work, no one can advice you about taking medication its a personal thing to you, i didnt until i developed shingles, then dr put me on a mild depressent. I only took it for 3 month, until shingles had cleared up. Writing and receiving messages on here also helped as did the live evening chat room, i can only tell you Angela that it will get easier to bear but it does take time. Xxx

 

[Emz2014]

I think if we are steadily moving forward in our journeys, however slowly, we're doing ok.  It's when we get stuck at a stage or feeling everything is consistently too much we may need a gentle helping hand.  For me, when it was a rollercoaster I knew the down days would ease, a bad day I would give myself tlc and 'start' again the next day.   

After a period of coping i did have antidepressants for a while, as other things were going on and became too much.  I dont think we should be ashamed if we need some help

Keep talking, that definitely helps too xx

[Hubby]

I have been a long term user of anti-depressants following a period where my career and home were on the line five years ago. The stress escalated into true depression which meant that even after the problems had been sorted I was still extremely low to a point where I couldn't function. The tablets got me back on track.

Rather ironically I had been cutting back on the tablets and was only a fortnight from coming off them completely when Margaret passed away. The doctor immediately put me back on full dose.

To my mind I shouldn't be on them. I not depressed I am grieving and I have a good reason to be feeling low but coming off them can have a rebound effect which would be complicated by grief so it looks like I on the for a good few months yet.

My advice is to talk it over with your doctor. i know it's bit of a cop out but they are the people who will know if medication will help or not.

Take care.