Hi Tina, please accept my condolences for your loss, I know that no words of mine can ease the pain you are feeling right now, there's nothing worse than to lose one's partner of many years. Many people will say they can only imagine how you feel, and that is true, my wife who meant everything to me passed away suddenly also due to cancer in April, and I'm still struggling to come to terms, knowing I will never feel her close to me ever again, I miss her so much, as I'm sure you miss your beloved husband.
I've only joined this community myself today, thinking perhaps like you that maybe talking about it to others who have lost loved ones too might help me in some way, and I hope it does for you too. On reading a few of the posts it's clear that there are many caring people on here, people who understand and can empathize, because many have been through the same experience. Your loss and my own for that matter, is very recent so the pain we feel is very raw and in some ways perhaps it still has not fully sunk in what's happened.
We have only our memories of the good years we had, perhaps like myself you look at photographs or browse your wedding album and the tears run down your cheeks, or have a really good cry as I often do (yes even men of 71 cry) they tell me this all part of the normal bereavement process and it can last years. All we can do Tina, is to take each day at a time, it's something that none of us normally think about, why should we, we always assume we will be together for ever, sadly however life is sometimes unfair.
About 18mths ago, there was a story in our local paper about a young girl of about 6yrs of age, who had terminal cancer, UK NHS doctors could not help, but there was a pioneering doctor in the USA, who thought he could save her, but it was going to cost a lot of money, hence why it was in the newspaper as they had started a fund to help her parents send her to the USA, so I donated £20, and occasionally wondered how she got on, they actually raised over £90,000.
Anyway, the week my wife died, I was reading the online version of the newspaper and I noticed a story mentioning the child had succumbed to her illness, in fact I recognized her picture first. Her parents had raised the money and she did have the operation in the USA, but sadly she had passed away, she was just a few weeks off her 8th birthday.
When I read it I just burst into tears...just so sad to read it. I'm 71, and had 48 wonderful years with my wife, but here's this young 8yr old child who has had no life, and indeed I notice one of our members lost her little boy Billy aged just 5yrs, life most certainly can appear unfair.
I shall be thinking of you Tina, be strong, and take each day at a time, value and treasure the fond memories of your beloved husband, we are never too old to cry, it's normal!.
Best wishes.....Brian
