Author Topic: I'm new. My lovely man has passed away  (Read 2361 times)

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Offline teatime

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I'm new. My lovely man has passed away
« on: August 06, 2016, 10:55:53 PM »
My dear loving companion died two days ago. Iwas in love with him and he with me. We had only known each other for 9 months or so.. it was a very intense realtionship and I felt very protective of him.
I have fibromyalgia. He had numerous health complaints, was chronically asthmatic and a heavy smoker.
I stayed by his side most days... he kept collapsing very ill and with no breath. I saved his life twice... his condition worsened and the stress made me ill.  he was hospitalised i think 4 times ... I started to fall apart and wondered if this was just the worst thing i could be hanging aound waiting for...I parted from him for a couple of weeks  but was constantly checking on him.  We quarreled a little.He was hospitalised after he travelled to see a friend. he was very sad and resentful and lonely without me. I went back and told him I loved him so much... I could hardly walk because  my mobility is impaired by a bad hip. He eventually saw how much he meant to me and we starting seeing a bit more of each other but he was very unwell struggling every day. he was also in debt and anxious.he passed away two days ago lying on his bed mercifully. Just before he sent a text to a close female friend that he felt very ill.
I am just sad it was not me, because she did nothing and I would have done...
He never told me if he had the diagnosis last time. I was going to take him to the doctor for test results this coming week, I hadn't told him but would have done. I tended to put him first because of my great love for him and feeling of responsibility... but getting ill.
I cannot stop crying. I have had a very hard life indeed and survived two abusive relationships... he too had survived abuse and injustice. He was an exile. He had the saddest life I have ever come across...he was very poor, very talented, very much a gentleman, had been famous all over the world. He loved my mind, we matched.
I loved him very greatly and feel that there is no meaning  to existence at present.I hardly knew him any time at all and he wasn't very old. I just keep wishing I had known him longer, that he had had his health and so on... :candle:

he leaves 3 children and about 500 friends more all over the world. I cannot believe he has gone. I feel like light has gone and I am scared at night...it's bringing up my father's sudden death in my mind and I feel in a constant state of deja vu..
I have my flatmate looking after me so don't worry
« Last Edit: August 06, 2016, 11:05:58 PM by teatime »

Offline Norma

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Re: I'm new. My lovely man has passed away
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2016, 08:59:52 AM »
Sending you a welcome (((hug)))

 :hug:
Its been a rough week but i made it. How about you 💐

Offline Karena

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Re: I'm new. My lovely man has passed away
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2016, 07:44:36 PM »
 :hug: It doesn't matter how long you knew someone love is love and loss hurts just as badly.I do understand how fibro is so exhausting and coping with his poor health too was bound to make for a bumpy ride sometimes,but you knew you loved each other and that's what will count longterm not less happy memories.Grief is exhausting too in its own right so sometimes what you put down to fibro will be a combination.
Take care of yourself and let others take care of you,

Offline teatime

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Re: I'm new. My lovely man has passed away
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2016, 09:18:23 PM »
Thank you

Offline Hubby

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Re: I'm new. My lovely man has passed away
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2016, 11:03:11 PM »
So sorry to hear of your loss teatime. Wishing you strength.

 :hug:

Offline Rayvon

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Re: I'm new. My lovely man has passed away
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2016, 11:40:23 PM »
Hi teatime , my heart goes out to you . I'm newly bereaved . It's a strange feeling , be kind to yourself
 :hug: