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General Discussion / Live chat
« Last post by Karena on Today at 11:09:38 AM »
I dont know whether all of you are aware, there is a live chat room connected too this site.It is a text based system so you dont need video etc. and although facebook has got the group and you can use messenger, facebook isnt for everyone, and no-one should be excluded from having the facility just because they dont have facebook.
It has been mentioned a couple of times recently that people go in and no-one is there - so it has been suggested you could pre arrange times for a chat here, which  is an excellent idea, so to keep it easy to find, i thought we could have a dedicated thread to do so.

So if you would like to give it a go, Just pop in, leave a note of the time you are going to be in there, or see what times others have posted, or make specific arrangements betwen you. It is entirely up to you - Generally it is most active in the evenings.

You can access it from the BUK home page or directly through the link below.

It asks for a user name, my personal feeling is it would be helpful to use the one you do here, so people already know something of your situation and you can talk comfortably  -also it isnt, yet another user name, you need to remember. But you dont have too of course.

The chat room is accesible from the home page so people not registered on the forum can go in there.
In the past, and it is rare so not something that should allow to put you off some-one has has come in who either deliberately upsets others or who is not who they claim to be.
Again i stress - IT IS RARE

As admins we are quite thinly spread so we cant always keep an eye on things there, like we can here so if you have suspicions or are upset by some-one  then dont hesitate to private message one of us and we will take a look when we open the message.

Same rules apply as here, everyone is grieving so treat each with the respect you do here.
As usual with any forum or socal media site, be careful about who you give details too and what information you give out, and if you do arrange to meet up in the real world,  either do so in a group or in a public place  i know it sounds obvious - its just the usual precautions you would take in everyday life, but as we know, grief can perhaps make us more vulnerable than we were.

All that aside, it can certainly fill some of those lonely evenings, so please give it a try - you will be welcomed there as you were here.

Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Back for the third time....
« Last post by Karena on Today at 10:21:54 AM »
HI i think i may have met you back in 2011 when i came here after losing my husband - its so sad you find yourself back here but its thanks to the support you and others gave me back then that i am still here and still hopefully trying to repay that by supporting others - so thank you for being instrumental in that.

I can understand the way your thoughts are going,before the loss that brought me here i lost some-one else to cancer and shortly around the same time the news anounced a break through in research - and i just thought - how is that good news - its too late - like you, its not at all like me to think like that but it didnt last. :hug:

Thanks for the idea about the chat room - I have put up a post about it on the general discussion board. - i thought if we create a dedicated thread then people can post if theyre going in there or what time they will be around and arrange specific times as you suggested, but all in the same place which might make it easier, and also because i dont know if its just my set up but there isnt a direct link unless you come through the home page so potentially people  are not aware of it  so i will link it from the thread as well so you can go direct from there.
Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Wallowing
« Last post by Karena on Today at 10:03:33 AM »
 :hug: you are right but sometimes its easier said than done and letting off steam about it is one of the functions of this site.
Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Hello
« Last post by Karena on Today at 10:02:00 AM »
 :hug: In the middle of all the pain that brings us here, its important to be able to giggle i think.
Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Hello
« Last post by CarolineL on March 20, 2019, 07:46:44 PM »
You have made me giggle x  :rofl:
Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Wallowing
« Last post by Twinkle on March 20, 2019, 05:56:06 PM »
Thank you, yes I am  very blessed to have lifelong friends which to be honest in my case is better than family,  I too have made new friends. I think the key with grief, if there is such a thing, is to do what you need to do, you have to feel your way through  avoiding somehow toxic input  :hug:
Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Back for the third time....
« Last post by Firebelle_uk on March 20, 2019, 03:49:09 PM »
Thank you for the welcomes. Anyone who met me in the past will know I'm not very good at emoticons lol so my posts will be mainly boring old text.
Dave, you blew my cover! Of course I wish I had not had to return, and I do remember and indeed even had a look for some of those earlier posts. There was so much support here and that is precisely why I headed straight back this time :smiley:.
(found it!).
I spent a pleasanyt hour or so in the chat room last night and hve already noticed that several people pop in and out but find it empty. So I was going to suggest a "meet up time" when any one who wamts to chat can, We used to find that just having a time when you knew you were more likely to find someone there was helpful.
Right I must go and take the dog out..... until well xx
Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: live chat
« Last post by Karena on March 20, 2019, 11:00:44 AM »
That would be a good idea you cn use the everyday chat section of the site to do it - i will start a new thread for you and then you can do the rest between you. :hug:   
Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Hello
« Last post by Karena on March 20, 2019, 10:55:37 AM »
I have been wondering about keeping a rabbit - there is one up for adoption from the animal rescue place - but i know absolutely nothing about rabbits and this one says he would make a good house rabbit which worried me slighlty as  i have other peoples dogs who come for their holidays sometimes, so not sure it would work very well with a free range tasty house rabbit around. - To cap it off though a friend of my daughters has a landlord who is putting the house on the market and he might need some temporary accomodation for his pets if he ends up sofa surfing - two terrapins, two house cats and wait for it - two chickens - one of which is a permanant house chicken because its blind and a bit lame and old but he couldnt bear to kill it ( the other is a bit poorly but might be better and back out on his allotment where his others are kept by then hopefully ) - to explain how this happens, i already have three fish tanks - each one containing a fish that has been rescued and then brought to my door - each fish not able to live with any of the others - two of them were accomdated "temporarilly" allegedly -one i expected a couple of years tops (what did i know about parrot fish he has been here 8 now )  and now terrrapins - who will also have to be housed separately - my living room is going to look like a pet shop aquarium section soon.- house cats i assume dont go out, so thats going to mean litter trays (yuk) - and a house chicken which apparently gets on well with the cats - i assume that isnt house trained at all - although chickens do like scratching - maybe it can empty the litter tray and  maybe  it could spend some time at least during the day in a nice  (padded) run in the garden - or maybe i should have a nice padded run  and a strait jacket. :rolleyes:so anyway -  it looks like i wont be adopting benjamin bunny or any other bunnies until that is sorted.

This is  precisely why i dont have chickens, because they would be named, and be pets and taken to vets and kept nice and cozy, and then everyone would bring me their old lame ones knowing i am a soft touch.I also get poorly pigeons , blackbirds and hedgehogs dropped off from time to time. :rofl:
Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Hello
« Last post by crazychris on March 20, 2019, 09:23:21 AM »
Thanks for your reply. I think part of the problem is that I'm alone and thinking too much. Wife works Monday to Thursday and Fri, Sat and Sun she goes out with her friend or goes to their house. So she's out from 9am to 11pm. She says it helps her to get out of the house and stops her thinking too much. I feel I have no support though. Have no friends but don't particularly want any. The grief counsellor wanted me to go to a coffee morning they organise each week and meet two men who have lost their partners and maybe become friends with them. They apparently go out for a drink together. I haven't been yet though and she can't give me their phone numbers because of confidentiality and data protection rules. People say I'm just wallowing in misery but I don't care. Even my wife says at least she's trying and going out but I'm not. I don't want to try. Everything's gone now. I'm just existing until the dog dies. She's only 6 so has a few more years left yet. We can never have any grand-children now and was looking forward to that so much. Her boyfriend told me that he was planning to ask her to marry him on NYE so she'd probably be engaged now. He's still absolutely devastated as I am too.

We had wife's sister and niece over from Philippines for six months. It was okay but she wants the niece to come back and look for a job here and live with us. I don't though as don't want anyone living with us permanently. It was okay and they were very supportive and helped her sort Rachel's room out but it was a lot of extra washing and cooking and your house isn't your own. They went back just before Christmas.
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