Widowed in Oct 18

[Pam19]

Hi. I lost my husband in Oct 18 ~ he was my soulmate. He went to work 19 weeks ago today and never came home. I had the dreaded knock at the door and my world turned upside down when 2 policemen told me my husband had been killed tragically at work .... just devastating

[Emz2014]

Sending you a welcome hug 
That must have been a shocking way to find out,  hope you find the forum a source of support xx

[longedge]

My deepest sympathy and condolences Pam.

[Pam19]

Hello George and Emz...thank you for commenting. I’m just trying to work out how to reply and add new posts at the moment...not sure how to reply to you individually so bear with me.

[Sandra61]

Hello Pam,

So sorry to hear what has happened to you. I can't imagine how awful this must be for you. Please know that you will find lots of support here. Just talking and writing down how you are feeling can really help. Sending you strength and sympathy

[Emz2014]

You're doing fine Pam - posting a reply like you have is totally fine 
If you get stuck atall finding your way around just pop on a post and one of the admins will be able to help, we can move a post if needed so dont worry about getting anything wrong.  Xx

[Pam19]

Thank you Sandra and Emz. I take it I can’t reply to an individual person? I use the reply tab to comment at all times?

I agree Sandra, I think just writing down and talking to other people in similar situations will help. Right now I feel like I’m living in a bubble that’s not in the real world....I know that sounds wierd but this whole situation is wierd. I lost my mum 8 years ago and had similar feelings but this feels completely different....but then my mum wasn’t my soulmate....

[Karena]

Hi Pam
Its almost eight years now since my husband died but i can completly empathise with that weird feeling - i once even questioned for a brief moment if it was me not him who had died - i was standing watching the world go on as normal and  feeling invisible.
You can private message some-one here if you want and that doesnt appear on the forum its just a conversation between you and them - if you look on the left next to their name you will see a button that allows you to do that - but generally yes use the reply tab.
Being here helped me a lot having somewhere to write - because writing is a good way of collecting and expressing things sometimes especially when you feel like youre wading through mud but also because everyone here is at some stage of being on the same journey.

[Pam19]

Thanks Karena ... it’s good to know I’m not alone. I’m sorry for your loss too, I have several friends who have lost their husbands at various ages and I do have hope when I talk to some of them. They do all say that the grief never leaves you but you do have happy and good times again, and that I will be able to build a life around my grief. It seems impossible at the moment but it does help to talk and write things down x

[Sandra61]

Hi Pam,

I know what you mean about feeling like you are living in a bubble. I had the same feeling myself for a long time after my mum died. The rest of the world goes on as normal and you do the things you need to do, but it doesn't feel real or right. I felt like the world stopped when my mum died and found it odd to see people just going about their business as usual when something so awful (to me at least) had happened. It takes a very long time to come to terms with losing someone and even when you think maybe you are starting to get over it abit, something will happen out of the blue that knocks you for six and you realise maybe you are not getting on with that quite so well as you thought! But you have to keep going at it - if only for the sake of the person you have lost, who will still want the best for you.

I think you can reply to an individual person in 'My messages' if you want to. That message then goes direct to that person and cannot be read on the forum, if that's any help. But reply wherever you like. It is helpful for others to be able to read what's on here too, as not everyone feels confident enough to post a message themselves.

Sending hugs