Author Topic: Things are looking up a bit at last  (Read 1477 times)

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Offline Sandra61

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Things are looking up a bit at last
« on: February 08, 2019, 12:36:08 AM »
Well, I haven't visited this website for a little while now, so just posting a quick update really. Last time I was on here, it was just around Christmas and the IHT people were giving me grief looking to increase the tax they wanted by challenging the valuation I got for the house. I am pleased to report they have now settled for the figure on the report I had done originally, so that is hopefully now settled. It was the best thing to happen to me for a long time. I was hugely relieved and actually jumping for joy! Ok, so the house is not in good repair and will cost a bundle to fix, but at least I can get started on it now and don't need to feel I have to rush anymore to sort through my mum's things either. I still find myself pulling drawers open intending to sort through the contents, then closing them again, unable to bring myself to do it yet. It's been 17 months now, but it still doesn't feel right to get rid of all her things. Anyway, I know it has to be done, but at least I now feel I will be able to do it at my own pace and will not have to uproot myself and go somewhere else to please the taxman, so that's a plus. I am now looking at filling out a different set of forms to deal with the next stage of sorting out the official things, so it still goes on, but I do at least feel I'm slowly making progress now and the future is a little less hazy.
So things get a bit better in time then, at least in a practical sense. Emotionally, I think I am moving into a better place too slowly. Acceptance is growing and loss becoming a more familiar state of being now, it seems. I'm happier that I feel like I am moving forward with things, I'm still not too sure where I'm going, but I feel stronger and ;better able to do that than I did this time last year. so it is good to know that I have made a few strides forward and am spending less time looking back. After all, I can't change the past - and I can see the good memories a little more clearly now, Instead, I am trying to fashion a better a future now, different and not very  easy to navigate, but at least I am trying now to look forward, more than back, so that has to be a positive. I guess the future is a work in progress and I'll just have to see how it goes. Still, all you can do is try to make the best of it.
Best wishes to all of you trying to do the same.

Offline Karena

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Re: Things are looking up a bit at last
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2019, 05:11:08 PM »
Glad things are looking up its a long old slog and one where we often find ourselves sliding back and having to pick ourselves up again. No need to touch your mums stuff until you re ready -or if you ever are -some stuff i still have of my mums and she died in 2004 -same with Keiths stuff - again a gradual process as you start to find those items that you will probably keep for-ever and those that you can bear to let go at different stages of the journey. :hug: