Author Topic: Introduction to me  (Read 2622 times)

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Offline Bahadur

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Introduction to me
« on: May 03, 2017, 02:13:04 PM »
Just to introduce myself. I am 73 year old retired Chartered Accountant and University lecturer living in Durham City. I lost my dear wife due to what I consider negligence of the Hospital. However, she is gone and there is nothing I can do. Some people urged me to sue the Hospital but that will just enrich the lawyers - it will not bring her back. I feel terribly lonely and often wake up in the middle of night - this morning I woke up at 2 am crying and missing her. I can not stop crying. The only family I have is a son who is 36 years and lives in London. He has his own life - I sometimes talk to him on the phone and he says 'Dad what do you want ?'. I feel that he does not care - but he is busy making ends meet - he is often broke and wants me to send him money.
I would love to talk to someone who has been through this difficult time.
B Najak, Durham, England

Offline Norma

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Re: Introduction to me
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2017, 04:01:05 PM »
Hi Bahadur sending you a welcome    :hug:

Its very difficult to lose a lifes  partner, i think we can all empathise  with you on the waking up and crying plus the terrible loneliness that can be all engulfing in the early days, all i can say is it does get easier to cope with our loss, but afraid i cant say that the loneliness goes away.

I hope you can find some comfort amongst us  x
Its been a rough week but i made it. How about you 💐

Offline Bahadur

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Re: Introduction to me
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2017, 04:36:44 PM »
Thank you for your kind words. They help.
B Najak, Durham, England

Offline Karena

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Re: Introduction to me
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2017, 07:52:11 PM »
Hi.I can only really repeat what Norma has said and add my own welcome too that.
Aside from the money thing, your son is probably saying that not because he doesn't care but partly because he is grieving for his mum.partly because che feels helpless being so far away,and partly because it is difficult to advise your parents,almost a role reversal so he really doesn't know how else to react.I guess as parents of adult children we have at times said the same too them when they brought us a dilemma ,and when we said it it wasn't because we didn't care but because we didn't want to pressure them to make a choice based on our own take on it.

Offline Bahadur

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Re: Introduction to me
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2017, 09:47:04 AM »
Thank you. You are right, I have often said to my son - 'grow up - make your own mind' when he asked me for advise. It is difficult to accept role reversal. Thanks.
B Najak, Durham, England

Offline RRS

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Re: Introduction to me
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2017, 09:10:33 PM »
Hi, I can completely relate to how you are feeling. Like you, I wake up at strange times missing my husband soo, soo much. Our children are all grown up and getting on with life the best they can.
As for the money side, don't worry too much, you have to look after yourself. Life is cruel and we are just having to learn a different way of living. It's soo soo hard

Offline Bahadur

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Re: Introduction to me
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2017, 04:08:40 PM »
:candle:It is second anversary of my wife passing away today. I felt courageous enough to read the posts today. Thank you RRS for your kind words. Do you live anywhere near Durham ? I live in Gilesgate Moor, Durham. Would be delighted to meet up over a cup of coffee and share our grief.:hug: :rainbow:
B Najak, Durham, England

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Introduction to me
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2017, 09:38:44 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline RRS

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Re: Introduction to me
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2017, 10:37:55 PM »
Hi Bahadur,

How are you doing? Sending you big hug  :hug:. I am in Hampshire which is a shame but I'm sure we support each other at this very difficult time. I have struggled over the last few weeks - it's the realisation that this my life now ...alone and I hate it x x