Author Topic: Decisions  (Read 1283 times)

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Offline Lost675

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Decisions
« on: June 28, 2018, 10:51:54 PM »
I used to be able to make decisions very easily but now I find them impossible! I dither about for ages and then just put off making the decision. Drives me nuts and I can't work out why I'm like that now when I was the complete opposite before. I don't really know why I'm sharing this, I guess I'm just a bit confused and wondering if anyone else had experienced this?

Offline Karena

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Re: Decisions
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2018, 11:23:47 AM »
Yes - i have found the same - i think when we loose the sounding board for decisions and can only hear our own voices it makes it more difficult. Not that we were not able to make decisions ourselves before but if we made a wrong one having some-one there to point out the pitfalls before we acted on them was something we did have.Part of the trick is to think about their voice and mentally run things by them as we would have done in the past. I also think we lose confidence and so that undermines us even further.I still dither a lot - I,m not sure its always a bad thing - even though i annoy myself because of it - i guess we become our own sounding board too a degree too  and having to check ourselves means it takes longer. with me it isnt just the major things - but silly little things too that really dont matter - again i think it is lack of confidence in our ability to get it right. :hug:

Offline Lost675

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Re: Decisions
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2018, 11:09:24 PM »
I think you're right. When I made decisions, subconsciously I knew I had someone to turn to if it turned out not to be the right one. Now, it's just me, no one to talk it through with or to bail me out, no other opinion to balance mine so the pressure is greater. I'm impulsive, he was always calm and thought things through carefully before acting on anything. I do try and think, what would he say or do and that helps but some times I just don't know what he'd think particularly when it comes to decisions about what on earth I do now without him as this whole situation is not one either of us has faced before. 

Offline Karena

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Re: Decisions
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2018, 11:52:38 PM »
I think it's important especially in the early days to not make bg decisions you don't have to.So for example moving house or career changes because in themselves they form part of the foundations that haven't crumbled.Its not always possible of course sometimes these things are forced on us.But if it's possible give yourself time.Soe things will become clearer.I started doing futurelearn courses to fill the empty nights.they are free so I picked several that sounded interesting but seemed random and not related too each other .But one of them brought the others together In a way I hadn't forseen. a too old for career changes but have put together a couple of voluntary projects as a result It is a case I think of trying different paths until you find the right one for you and even if you can't hear their advice because as you say it isn't a situation you expected or experienced before. you will know in your heart whether they would have liked your ideas. :hug: