Hi,
I am not sure how this site works, but I am Barb, 60 years old, married to Steve for 48 years, we shared our lives with our beautiful daughter Lisa ( Lee to me ) for 45 years, and now she is gone, she died of cancer 27th January 2018, I nursed her at her home, on my own for the last 2 and half years of her life, her death was not pretty, and I do not know what to do with all the memories of her suffering that remain inside my head 24 hours a day, everyone tells me to move on now, and "we must not be negative" and I want to say, why the hell not, Lee suffered all of her life, cancer wasn't supposed to get her as she had her colon removed when she was 20, sorry I am rambling, I think my first few posts do not go to post straight away, so I will go now, if this sounds selfish I apologise, all I want to do is just mention her name, talk about her, how she was, try and remember her before the cancer grew and grew and she bled to death, she never hurt a fly but she suffered like no human being should ever suffer. I have lost loved ones before, my Dad, cancer, my Mom Alzheimers, my grandniece aged 6 brain cancer, my nephew , her father, from suicide, but this one,this loss ?? how I have got this far I have no idea, maybe because of my brother who found his son after he took his life, my brother carried on, we carried on as a family, but now I just feel so alone. much love to anyone who is struggling, xxB.