Author Topic: Introduction  (Read 1194 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Jupiter

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • Karma: +0/-0
Introduction
« on: November 22, 2018, 09:28:23 PM »
Hi,
Lost my wonderful wife of 36 years marriage last month with advanced, vascular, dementia after by far the worst 13 months of my, as well as our son's life. She was only 69, a year older than me. My son and I were due to take her to a memory clinic on 18th September last year after we noticed she was experiencing fairly mild, memory, problems after her 4th TIA in September 2015. Unfortunately she contracted urosepsis on 4th September and after 6 weeks in hospital was discharged into a wonderful nursing home with a prognosis of only 3 weeks to 3 months to live confined to a bucket chair or bed, incontinent and suffering from frequent anxiety attacks. She was much brighter than me and the last bit of her anatomy she would have chosen to lose was her brain.
Thanks to the wonderful care and attention in the nursing home she survived a year after discharge but the daily commute from where I live in South Devon into Plymouth to help her with her lunch but see her degenerate into a child has been so depressing and heart rendering. I often left in tears.
Are there any local groups in the South Hams area where people suffering bereavement meet up?
 

Offline Emz2014

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1904
  • Karma: +130/-0
Re: Introduction
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2018, 08:14:34 AM »
Sending you a welcome hug  :hug: sorry you have not received any replies until today, I'm having difficulties being able to view new posts so others may have experienced this too

Regarding the groups, I know that our sister Facebook group is quite active on arranging mini meets across the country so would be a good idea to poo that question there

Its such a rollercoaster journey, hope you are coping ok.  Please do come back to chat with us, talking does help, I certainly found it helped me xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2132
  • Karma: +145/-0
Re: Introduction
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2018, 01:18:28 PM »
Hi -that time of going up and down to hospitals and watching some-one deteriorate is so utterly exhausting as is the loss itself. :hug:
other than the mini meets from our facebook group i wonder if you have tried the samaritans web site - they are not just for phoning at a time of crisis, but do have centres around the country which focus on different areas of things that lead too the crisis - i did notice that bereavement groups have featured in some of the centres. Also have a look locally there may be something more local based like a self help group.
For bereavement counselling - one to one then the first port of call could be your GP - some practices have counsellors within the practice its self - otherwise CRUSE may be able to help.

I am not a great talker and had a lot of social anxiety so finding this site was perfect for me as writing helped a lot when it came to being able to express emotions and also everyone here has some experience of bereavement - its never exactly the same but there are a lot of things we do find in common. There is a section where you can start your own diary - which as time passes is helpful as this is a roller coaster journey - on the really bad days when you think you havnt been able to cope it is useful to look back on it and see how you have got through those crisis times before so you can again.