Author Topic: Feeling a little overwhelmed  (Read 2558 times)

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Offline Jo Jo

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Feeling a little overwhelmed
« on: April 08, 2019, 05:30:30 PM »
Apologies if I repeat myself after my introduction. I am struggling to see any light right now. Suffered a nervous breakdown on mothers day, after losing mum last year, and being completely alone on the day, just proved the final straw I think. I have lost 10 close family and seven friends in a five year period. It has been a total battering emotionally to say the least. So many emotions!

Offline Karena

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Re: Feeling a little overwhelmed
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2019, 11:14:58 AM »
Hi Jojo, we will always be here for you to talk and hold your hand through this - none of us are professional councellors though, just people who have also been bereaved, and with such a massive number of bereavements its not at all suprising you are feeling like this - i wonder whether you should also look for professional help as well though. You could try CRUSE, you could try your GP, some practices have bereavement councellors, and in some areas of the country the samaritans also run bereavement groups.I know its a big step to ask for help, but you have taken the first one coming here and thats a good starting point. :hug:

Offline Sandra61

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Re: Feeling a little overwhelmed
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2019, 11:24:01 AM »
Jo Jo, I am so sorry. Yours is certainly a very heavy load to bear. Do whatever helps for now. Just make sure you eat and drink enough and perhaps seek counselling. That does help some people.

I think something similar happened to me about six months after I lost my mum. I struggled through the first six months trying to stop crying long enough to get round the banks sorting out her financial affairs and all the official things you have to do, as well as getting back to work and trying to sort out how I was going to move forward without her and then took a week off six months later and just had a week of complete panic, tears, fears and upset, feeling completely lost and alone and not knowing what to do, so you are not alone in feeling so bad either. I am sure it happens to a lot of us. It did help me once I found this website a few months later. It is a comfort to know that others do at least understand how you feel. That brought me to tears too, but I think those were tears of relief that I had at last found some people who understood! I hope that helps you too, Diane.

I know exactly what you mean when you describe how you feel. I think we all go though this, but it will slowly get better. I felt like I was slipping into a pit of despair too and often, in those early months found myself getting up and going and sitting down only to lose myself in thought and then suddenly realise it was getting dark and i had not even got dressed or eaten or drunk anything and it was time to go back to bed, where I would lay awake crying some more all night, so I do understand.

I found it helped me to develop a few strategies to try to stay positive or at least to get me through the days. It helped me to have flowers around. It cheered me up and comforted me a little to see their beauty and smell their scent and know there were still beautiful things in the world. Also it helped to walk in the park. It is a lovely and calm place to sit and think and examine your feelings in. Also, I like reading the inscriptions on the benches from others in memory to the people they have loved and lost and to know that love goes on, just as mine does, for those I have loved and lost. I think what helped the most was that, fearful of losing my sanity in this terrible state of grief, I decided I needed to find something to do to help myself. I took up an interest that my mum had also enjoyed and joined a local class. That was what saved me and eighteen months on from losing her, it still is. It took me out of myself and gave me a reason to get dressed and get out of the house and made me think about something else for a while. It also got me amongst other people and made me take a step back into life around me again. I made some wonderful new friends there and have honestly received more support from them than from existing friends and family! I would thoroughly recommend it. I am sure others will tell you what has helped them best too. You just have to find what is right for you and what helps you the most, but I think staying in on your own is the worst thing you can do. You need the contact and support of others, if only for a couple of hours a week. You have us here too, of course and that I hope will help.

You will find a way forward, Diane, but, as I am sure you know, after going through so much already over the years, it is a matter of taking little steps as often as you can and being kind to yourself in the meantime and just doing whatever you can to help yourself, one day or one hour or even one minute at a time. You are not alone.  Sending you strength and a huge hug..xx :hearts: :hearts: :hug: :hug:

Offline Jo Jo

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Re: Feeling a little overwhelmed
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2019, 12:28:56 PM »
Sandra61, I am so sorry to hear you went through such a tough time, but you give me hope that things will eventually not feel as dark as they do right now.
I genuinely am fighting against the feeling of wanting to lay down and just give up, but deep down, I know I have the strength inside me somewhere to never do that!
I have approached Cruse to pursue some bereavement counselling to try to put some order to my thoughts, but unfortunately, there is a minimum of six months before they can help at all.
Unfortunately am not in a position to pay for some counselling so I have to wait it out at the moment.
Knowing others understand the whole range of emotions that you go through is a comfort 🙂

Offline Jo Jo

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Re: Feeling a little overwhelmed
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2019, 12:32:40 PM »
Thank you Karena, I have pursued some bereavement counselling, but Cruse have a waiting list of at least six months.
I had no idea the Samaritans offered the service, I will do some checking to see if they may be able to help, thank you so much for your reply 🙂

Offline Sandra61

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Re: Feeling a little overwhelmed
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2019, 10:34:03 PM »
Hello Jo Jo,

I have also heard that the Samaritans can help as a place to go and talk, so I hope you get some help that way. I know waiting times are long for counselling. That's why I decided I had to try to find ways to help myself and finding this site went a long way towards that, so I hope it helps you too.

Keep talking to us here, Jo Jo. We may not be there in person, but we will catch up with you as soon as we can and we do care and understand what you are going through.

Wishing you well. Keep trying! You will find a way through this and rebuild your life. It is hard for all of us who are going through this, but we are all, and each, worth the effort! :hug: :hug:

Offline Jo Jo

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Re: Feeling a little overwhelmed
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2019, 01:50:36 PM »
Ty  :hug: I try to keep busy, have thrown myself into trying to get the garden ( jungle) tamed and ready for summer, it lifts spirits being outside in the sun for sure, I just roll with the good days.... or minutes lol for now, am looking forward to the time that they creep up and start outweighing the dark times 😎 xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Feeling a little overwhelmed
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2019, 02:02:56 PM »
They will - but treasure those moments in the garden, freeze frame them and store them in your mind and that way you will remember them and know,when the darker times come, that there will be more like those to come. :hug:

Offline Jo Jo

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Re: Feeling a little overwhelmed
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2019, 02:17:58 PM »
 :hug: Ty 🙂 trying to do just that 🙂 xx