Author Topic: My wonderful husband died 15th June Muscular Dystrophy.  (Read 2266 times)

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Offline Yvelaine

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My wonderful husband died 15th June Muscular Dystrophy.
« on: August 20, 2017, 08:08:54 AM »
After 32 years of love ,working , caring , struggle, lots of laughs, my Henry died on the 15 th of june 2017 aged 64.
The last few tears were increasingly difficult and we came to believe that no matter how hard we could overcome the problems ,. ever increasing equipment , care , nurses , hospital visits . He seemed invincible but he wasn't . 
His heart struggled more and more to cope until it could not sustain him . It was all very traumatic .He died in hospital in my arms and I cannot get this moment out of my mind . So still .So gone .
I am now alone and gripped by sadness . My heart feels heavy like a rock. I feel weak , I ache , exhausted but also calm .
Nothing seems to matter anymore .Even though his life was difficult with MD and heart failure he always cheerful and hard working , he did so much for me and my two girls that he helped bring up . I am so  very grateful to him and life for having given us this gift.
But now every day there are tears and tears .. It is like the sun has set and life is over .
I get up early and try to sort his stuff out , photos , writing , unfinished projects ..
The girls do everything they can to help and it does help but it feels very lonely even in a crowd  .
There is great love and support from friends and family but I have to spend lots of time on my own , sleep a lot ,  putting on weight .
The grand children are very sweet and I am able to make the effort to give them time but i don't want them to see me unhappy.
Distractions like gardening and workshop help a bit , but mostly its just sitting about staring into space and going over things in my head .
Thanks for listening .
Grief is tough.


Offline Emz2014

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Re: My wonderful husband died 15th June Muscular Dystrophy.
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2017, 09:04:36 AM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Scared1

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Re: My wonderful husband died 15th June Muscular Dystrophy.
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2017, 12:18:12 AM »
Hi Yvelaine,  I am so sorry for your loss. Your husband Henry sounded like an amazing man. I hope you find chatting on here with people  helps slightly,  you're so right,  grief is so tough.  Hopefully we can all help each other through it a bit xx

Offline Yvelaine

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Re: My wonderful husband died 15th June Muscular Dystrophy.
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2017, 09:14:29 AM »
Thanks .

 
 Yve

Offline Karena

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Re: My wonderful husband died 15th June Muscular Dystrophy.
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2017, 01:02:50 PM »
Hi -sending you a warm welcome.Its very early days for you,on this horrid journey,I lost my husband 6 years ago,i dont think -for me anyway- the gap he left behind will ever be filled,but gradually a day at a time you can start to build some kind of life around it,things which are distractions now, can grow to become more than that and new things fill the time, but we need time to grieve first.
One of the key things for me was creating memorys for my grandchildren not of sadness at his leaving, but of the person he was before.Some grandchildren that i have now wernt even born then but know about him who he was in life.So when you are stronger perhaps creating a memory box with them,with the things that tell or prompt a story might be a way for you and them to share and focus on those times.There are degrees of upset of course,but sharing memorys this way, if it creates a few tears as well as smiles they will see that its ok to grieve,its ok to cry,but also its ok to talk about him, remember him if theyre old enough or know him through your stories if not.

writing feelings down helps, this place was a big help to me, because at the point i would think i was losing the plot some-one would come along and say no your not something similar happened too me,everyone here has been on this journey, and its not just about grief -i never imagined when i first came i would use the laughing emojie but i do, because it also a place to ease the lonliness,whether thats by sharing the every day stuff that we would have shared with them,or using the instant chat in an evening there are also meet ups that crop up now and then in different regions, where a few people meet up for a cofee or drink - it can be a place online where real friendships develop.

Offline Yvelaine

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Re: My wonderful husband died 15th June Muscular Dystrophy.
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2017, 06:24:54 PM »
It really helps . Thanks . will do as you suggest .
cheers yve