:hug:It hits hard after the funeral because in a weird sense, before it you are still doing something on their behalf -after it feels like there is nothing more you can do, and so the empty pit opens upunder you completely
In time you can still do something on their behalf -i decided to live my life for my husband -do some of the things we planned but didnt get round too, some of the things he would have liked to do but never got chance too - and plant wild daffodils in all our favourite places because he died just befor they came out -but so wanted to see them - so i do still act on his behalf just in a different way. For now though its a case of tiny steps, take each hour as it comes, cry when you need too and be kind too yourself.