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General Discussion / Re: Delayed Grief?
« Last post by Maria66 on Today at 05:38:24 AM »
I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal to be honest. My friend feels this way, but her father didnt die, he left her as a younger child and her mother and never seeks contact, in actual fact she doesnt even know where he lives. She often wonders what her life would have been like if she had her father.

I think you may benefit from councelling to be honest. I know she has.   Its needing to talk it through with someone.   I actually think its kind of healthy for you to think that way. I lost my father 20 years ago and i still think about him everyday, and miss him like you i see something and i think oh i wonder what dad would have said about that, or something happens to me and i want to talk to him, ask his advise he was my buddy my best friend and i feel lost without him. 

what you are going through is grief I am sure of that, and i think maybe its time for you to have some grief councelling which will help you.  You dont have to go through it on your own.   I really think it must be so hard for a young person to loose a parent.

sorry not sure i made much sense.   But also have you spoke to your mother about your father too, i think if not you should as she can fill in some of the blanks for you.  xxx
Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Grief
« Last post by Emz2014 on November 21, 2017, 10:10:01 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug:
Its a hard journey, the pain you feel now will ease slowly.  Hold on in there, you're not alone. Keep talking with us here xx
General Discussion / Re: Everyday general chat, everyone welcome, just join in
« Last post by Emz2014 on November 21, 2017, 10:06:13 PM »
Awww thats sooo cute :-)  he/she must have felt quite safe there - or ate so many seeds couldn't fly away without a nap  :rofl:
I do love the birds.  I need to remember to go out to stock up my birds early tomorrow, have some work being done in the garden which starts tomorrow, so may not have easy access out there for a few days at least
How is everyones week going? Xx
General Discussion / Re: Charm87
« Last post by Emz2014 on November 21, 2017, 10:01:01 PM »
Hi Charm87
Antidepressants work for some people and for some they dont.  Usually they are able to take the edge off to enable you to deal with things better
Do you have family and friends around you? Xx
Introduce Yourself To Us All / Grief
« Last post by Pauline bettinson on November 21, 2017, 09:55:13 PM »
Hi my dad died about 6 weeks ago after being ill me and mum where by his bedside everyday for 5 months when im alone i cant bear the pain i feel inside xx
General Discussion / Charm87
« Last post by Charm87 on November 21, 2017, 09:16:24 PM »
I've been to the doctor and Im on antidepressants will they help?
General Discussion / Re: Everyday general chat, everyone welcome, just join in
« Last post by longedge on November 21, 2017, 09:05:05 PM »
Went out to fill up the bird feeders this morning and there was a sparrow fast asleep in one. At first I thought it had expired but then I could see it was just asleep with it's head under it's wing.

As soon as I touched it it shook it's feathers and flew away like a rocket

Hi Louise,

I am so sorry for your loss. I felt compelled to write as I lost my dad this September to COPD and I wanted to say what a wonderful thing you did to care for your mum, and from what you wrote it really brought her back to you for those last few months and that is a wonderful thing.
I am not very far at All along my grief journey and the advice of the other members is really wonderful. I just wanted to share with you my deepest sympathies and say that there is always someone here reading and feeling. Didn't want to read and run.
Sounds very much like a normal stage of the grief rollercoaster.  There are many phases of grief, and they dont all happen in a neat order - its different for everyone and some phases we may visit more than once.
The grief journey takes time, and talking helps.  :hearts: xx

My wonderful daddy died mid-September. It was a long time coming and I was able to say goodbye. Since his death and the funeral I have memories now more vivid than before. I can replay them in my mind like a film. I look at photographs and they are so real it's as if he could just turn his head, look at me and smile. Sometimes I look out of the window and I can almost see him there, standing with his hands in the pockets of the fleece he would be wearing at this time of year, pulling the face he always pulled when standing in his wonderful garden and observing it all. I have a clear vision of him sat in his chair, foot crossed over his knee, holding the newspapers crossword in his right hand and his pen in his left, cocking his head slightly with the special look he always had on his face when he was thinking the answer over. I almost feel as though he's in the next room, he leaves just before I walk in so I miss him by a few seconds. My mum came to stay the other week and as she sat down to dinner I looked at her and I could almost see him standing there behind her in his blue shirt with his hands resting on her shoulders. I have vivid dreams where we are together, we both know he's died, and I say "not many people get a second chance to say something" and he looks at me and we embrace and in the end I don't say anything at all, there are no words left to say, we just hold each other the way we did before he died. But then I wake up and think it such a cruel trick, I would sooner not have dreamed at all it is so bittersweet.

I just had to write this down, to say it somewhere. Thank you for listening.
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