Author Topic: New to this  (Read 1460 times)

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Offline DawnF

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New to this
« on: April 01, 2018, 04:33:51 PM »
Hello. I'm Dawn. I returned home from work in February to find my husband dead in our garden. He was 43. Never thought I'd be a widow at 42. We have been together since we were 15 and 16. I don't know a world without him.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: New to this
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2018, 05:26:14 PM »
That must have been such a shock, and such a young age. Sending you a welcome hug  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: New to this
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2018, 04:37:58 PM »
Also sending a warm welcome.What happened to your husband must have been such a shock and for you early days on this horrendous grief journey.All you can really do is take each hour each day a tiny step at a time.I found writing helped and being able to do that  here where others do understand because we are all on the same journey some of us further along it than others.It is 7years since I lost my husband and in those early days I would never have believed I  could have got through this .We do and it's really hard but we will be here for as long as you need us to be. :hug:

Offline sallymk1

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Re: New to this
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2018, 02:19:27 PM »
Hi Dawn
So sorry for your loss and in such a tragic way. I hope you are getting support with this tremendous shock. Unfortunately none of us in the beginning know of a life without our life partner. None of us would probably choose this road if we had any say in it. For the moment you need to let others help you as much as they can. I remember the practical support was always there throughout his illness but the emotional support was harder to come by. Please try to look after yourself, I'm still trying to put myself back together after months of neglect but I'm further down the road and 13 weeks am beginning to eat a bit better, sleep is still poor but the anxiety is not so pronounced.
Dawn you will most probably feel numb for the time being, this is not necessarily a bad thing, the body has defence mechanisms. You will howeve find you have breakthrough grief that can happen at any time. Cry if you need to, scream if you need to. All of this is normal and will be a part of your life. Please take care of yourself and check back in if you feel you need to.
Wishing you peace of mind but I think thats a long way off.  :coffeetoast:
Pam

Offline Sues62

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Re: New to this
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2018, 11:13:04 AM »
So sorry x

Offline Lost675

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Re: New to this
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2018, 11:38:49 PM »
Hi Dawn
I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to you. I lost my husband 14 weeks ago, I woke up to find he'd died in the night completely unexpected, he was 50. The shock is so horrific and I recognise the feelings you describe. I felt numb, desperate for him to come home and completely lost. However, as the weeks have passed, the moments of feeling completely and constantly suffocated by grief have eased and more recently I seem to be able to manage a little better each time the waves of grief come. I guess it's just a time thing. It's all something we never expect to have to deal with and feelings we've never experienced or indeed want to. Hang in there, take all the help offered and be kind to yourself. Kim X