I think what Emz said is very true I have also had multiple losses and apart from my daughters and granddaughters there is no family left.and it does seem to pile up,resulting the most recent time in an almost complete breakdown.I have been widowed twice and the second time also asked why me.Then I was talking too a lady who had had the same experience.She said what had she done so bad to deserve this punishment ,she was religious but her thoughts went far removed from mine.So my thought was to agree but my mouth opened and what came out wasn't that,but what did we do right that we were given the privilege of being chosen to be in their lives.At the time it offered no consolation,it didn't make the loss,the missing and the grief go away,but it was something that I could cling too.This place turned out to be another life raft,I hope that it can be the same for you over time.