Author Topic: My Wife passed 7 months ago  (Read 43900 times)

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Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #120 on: July 23, 2017, 06:50:57 PM »
Its often the things we don't think of in advance that get too you.I don't do cards anymore for that reason,If people think its mean let them.Its OK these days I think to say happy birthday on fb,and of course I do presents for family and close friends but as they're given by hand they don't require labels.
The change of school is a positive in some ways as he is switching to mainstream school from  a special school.Which was too far away for any friendships to be outside the school,and I don't think he actually had any friends there.Its a very small school too so shouldn't be too overwhelming,he has been for a couple of days to get used too it and seemed to get on OK,but generally doesn't respond well too change so fingers crossed.
No steam trains at this event,but I quite like them,I've taken the boys on the worth valley line a few times ( as in the railway children film) I agree chilli and veg stew taste better next day.I have never really got my head round meals for one,feels like a lot of trouble.Keith used to do most of the cooking as he was retired and I was am at work,plus if I,m honest he was a better cook,and i was better at growing it so it made sense. So batch cooking and portioning seems to be the best solution.

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #121 on: July 23, 2017, 10:10:44 PM »
Hi Karena,
I do think that cards, are becoming a thing of the past. The cards that I will never send nor want are Christmas cards, Christmas will not happen anymore for me, I really couldn't face it Last Christmas, I sat here, on my own and had Spaghetti Bolognese for my dinner, never saw a single person, until the 30th December, Janice's funeral.
I know it's very hard to escape all the hype of Christmas, but there must be somewhere in the world I can go to escape it.
We used to love Christmas, the Granddaughters used to love coming round and putting our tree up and decorating it, then they would come over Christmas Eve,we would go out in the garden, and mark a runway out , with glow sticks for Santas sleigh and leave carrots out for the Reindeer, all that has gone now, will really miss it, but could never have Christmas without Janice

Offline Emz2014

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #122 on: July 24, 2017, 08:49:39 AM »
My Christmas was very much centred around my dad.  We've tried to do something new, and is different anyway as my sister has children now, but it's still not the same.  We have a nice time, it's always nice seeing them, but Christmas has lost its sparkle now.  Dont think it helped that last Christmas I was really ill too

I treasure those memories and photos, so thankful to have had those times.  But I also feel the draw to escape Christmas now xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #123 on: July 24, 2017, 09:11:02 AM »
Hi Emz,
How are you, hope you are over you cold etc now.
I feel the same now, have all the memories, of what great Christmas's we had. Now, just don't want Christmas anymore.
Really not looking forward to next month, or September, birthdays and wedding anniversary, going to be very difficult.
Going to Spiritualist church on Sunday, with my Daughter and Granddaughters. The medium, that's there on Sunday, is very good, we have seen him before. We feel very comfortable at this church, as Janice, was often the guest Medium there and the kids were named there, it has a very nice feeling there. I went to the local one, near me, but did not like it one bit, very cold, not friendly, didn't want to be there xx

Offline Emz2014

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #124 on: July 24, 2017, 05:04:59 PM »
Im much better now thanks, although extremely tired as I have spent the day at the zoo with my young nephew and niece.  Back home now and everyone has gone home.  It was alot hotter than I expected - I had initially packed a brolly! But it was really hot - so think that was extra tiring!

Have quiche and chips in the oven and looking forward to a peaceful evening now.  Back to work tomorrow :-(

How has your day been? Xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #125 on: July 24, 2017, 05:57:55 PM »
Hi Emz,
I am pleased you had a good day at the zoo, with your Niece and Nephew. This is the problem now, with the weather, you don't know what to take with you, it will come to the point, where you will have to pack a suitcase full of clothes, just to go shopping.
My day has been, much the same, as most weeks now, still get my Groundhog week. But, I did have a surprise visitor, this afternoon, my eldest Granddaughter Amy, she had just been to look around the new school, that she will be going to in September. There were a group of girls, at her last school, that were continually bullying her, well , this really did get so bad, that the outcome is three of the girls have been expelled, some have been suspended, my Daughter kept this from me, for a long time, as this happened, once before, when Amy first went there, this girl kept asking her to buy stuff on her dinner card from the canteen, Amy kept this from her mum, for ages, until they were here one day and she broke down and told us, I went beserk, I said get this girls address, and tell her everyday, that she picks on you, I am going to go round her house and smack her Dad, this episode, was soon cleared up, but they were reluctant to tell me this time. Anyway, the new school sounds very nice, I just hope and pray that she will be ok there, the other worrry is her sister, is still at that school, so I hope, that the friends of the girls, that have been expelled don't pick on her, they are both big girls and look older than they are, but when there is a group of them, they don't stand a chance. Amy is 15 and Ava is 12. I will attach a photo of them xx

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #126 on: July 24, 2017, 06:00:04 PM »
Emz, Amy, is on the left, my Daughter Sharon, in the middle and Ava on the right

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #127 on: July 24, 2017, 08:12:39 PM »
 :hug:hope the bullying gets sorted.You may find that the friends of the bully's are only friends to avoid being bullied themselves or they just got dragged in.They might even be relieved the bully's have gone, but its something to keep an eye on.
Building up stress in July about Xmas isn't a good idea,I got round it by starting different winter traditions.Me and the kids make bird food decorations and out them on an outside tree which they love doing.I picked up some of the pagan traditions and changed them to suit myself.I buy kids presents and go there for Xmas lunch so even that's different because we always did that stuff at home before.New years eve i also adopted the pagan letting the light in tradition.I think of Christmas as someone else's celebration I am a guest for part of that,but its not mine any more.That doesn't mean I,m miserable about itor resenting other peoples happiness over it,its just different.So although Xmas as I knew it doesn't exist for me it doesn't make me unhappy any more.
Last year though I went to south Africa.Its very understated there,makes you realise how over the top we go here,also very different having a BBQ on new years eve.
You have a beautiful familly, your summer will certainly feel fuller with the girls around.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #128 on: July 24, 2017, 08:23:10 PM »
A beautiful photo Woody :-)  I do hope the bullying is sorted out too, so horrid being bullied, can have such an effect :-(  my daughter's friend struggled with bullying, for a while she wasnt able to go to school and she came to stay with me for a few days.  Things did improve for her thankfully xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #129 on: July 24, 2017, 08:41:48 PM »
Hi Both, Karena & Emz,
Amy is going to a new school, in September, but I expect, that her sister, Ava, will also go there, as I think, when the bullies friends know, that Amy has gone, then they will start to pick on Ava, I sincerely hope not, because I will really kick off then, I told them both, at a very early age, that all the time I am around, then nobody will ever hurt them, I promised them this, I never want to let them down.
Karena, the problem I am having with Christmas is, Janice passed away, on 6th December, all through December, was very stressful for me, as while everyone was organising their Christmas, I was arranging Janice's funeral, which was on the 30th December. Janice was taken into hospital on the 2nd Decenber, so it's not just Christmas I have a problem with, it's the whole of December, I just want to wipe December out completely. I know it's only July, but I just can't stand the thought of it, have birthdays and an anniversary to deal with also before then, I am already struggling day to day, so obviously these things are a worry to me. Sorry

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #130 on: July 24, 2017, 08:51:23 PM »
 :hug:nothing to be sorry for Woody.Its awful to be anticipating these things,which is why we say take one day at a time but I know that's often easier said than done.

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #131 on: July 25, 2017, 07:00:09 PM »
Hi Karena,
Well, I have just come to the end of this weeks Groundhog week, it doesn't ever seem to get any better.
I am going to the Spiritualist church, on Sunday, it's the church where Janice used to be the guest medium, on several occasions and the kids were named there.

I am going with Sharon, Amy and Ava, we all feel very comfortable there. They are going away to Spain, on the 8th August, so I am going to be here on my own, on my birthday which is the 9th August, it's going to be very strange and a very hard day to get through, not looking forward to it.
Got very hot here again, supposed to have rain tomorrow. xx

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #132 on: July 25, 2017, 08:16:48 PM »
I did think about going too a spiritualist church,but there isn't one for miles around and I don't think I would have ever had the courage to go on my own if their had been.
Will you see the girls on the day before your birthday.maybe that would help.
 This year I actually forgot not what day it is on but what date it was that day,until my daughter and the boys rang to say they were on their way up. :rofl:

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #133 on: July 25, 2017, 08:33:32 PM »
Hi Karena,
I saw them all for a while this afternoon. Sharon dropped the girls off here, will she went to the Chiropractor , so had an hour with them, then, when Sharon came back , she said we have got to go now, as Amy has a GP's appointment. Amy burnt her finger badly last week, on boiling water from the kettle, it turned quite nasty, they gave her antibiotics, but they are not agreeing with her, so they were going back to get a different type.
When are you going on your camping trip, Friday night, or Saturday morning . Is your van fully fitted out, has it got a pop up roof, or is it a hi top. xx

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #134 on: July 25, 2017, 09:18:48 PM »
Friday night ( afternoon if I can get work stuff done early.I don't have an internet signal there but I will be back Sunday night .Some people do have conversions,we intended too,but limited budget meant we decided to go for the best condition vehicle we could.The converted ones are really expensive.I,m glad now we did that,no point in having a conversion if its fallen through a rusty floor or at the side of a road Brocken down.So we got an awning and found we didn't actually need a conversion,so still ca!mping really.Also I've noticed where they have conversions and TV,s and stuff it makes people less sociable.For me if I want to sit inside glued to a screen I may as well stay home.I do read though when the weathers dire.
Its pretty much set up now its just me that i can do without the awning too Putting it up on my own at my height being a limiting factor.If I,m taking the older grandson I take the awning still,as he,s too big for the cabin bunk to be comfy and at 13 wants some privacy,so I put a tent inside the awning for him. Ladt time though it was put away soaked so i had to put it up myself in the garden to dry out and managec it,so i am going to take it this weekend and try again.Being a druve away though the other issue is lining the cpvan up properly.Being a woman precision reversing isnt my forte.Dojng it with a bunch of people who will hapilly move any markers you leave as guides then stand and watch you miss completely for a laugh doesn't help.
The van  does have a raising roof,but not easy for me to get up there through the hatch.Also having seen it happen to someone I,m terrified if it gets stuck up I,m stuck wherever I am and as their electric getting them down is very complicated.Look up Mazda bongo or Ford Freda and you can see the type of thing it is.Be careful though they're very addictive.
I have a cunning plan with the decals as well as the text across the back.One of the wheel arches has very distinctive paint bubbles,so I,m going to put bubble decals going up from them with dolphins among the bubbles.