Author Topic: Feeling so stressed and lonely  (Read 2367 times)

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Offline Gingey

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Feeling so stressed and lonely
« on: October 02, 2017, 04:20:49 PM »
Hi
Its a few weeks since I posted and I have not been great.
I just spent couple days at my sons, home last night and I just feel so lost. I have been feeling like this f i r a couple of months, also feel quite low with little interest in much. How do I climb up a bit to where I was before 1st anniversary??

Offline Karena

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Re: Feeling so stressed and lonely
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2017, 07:36:36 PM »
 :hug: do you think first anniversary might have contributed too how you feel now.Often society and therefore ourselves have expectations that we grieve for a year then get on with it,and its like a disappointment when we discover this isn't the case,it kind of comes home that the next anniversary,birthday,Christmas isn't looking like it will be Any better than the firsts.Right now darker nights are here and I for one always feel worse if I can't get outside.So perhaps that's the why,but how to get back up is more difficult.My Friday night winter blues  I dealt with by making them treat night,candles ,bath nice meal,chocolate,nothing major.I learned to crochet not because I needed too but to fill time but found it was quite useful and enjoyable,,and did some free online courses and rediscovered a desire for learning..Initially lighting the stove snuggling down and being comfortable seemed like too much effort for myself so I would sit in the cold.cooking the same so I would eat junk,until I discovered cooking not only filled time,but could be a form of mindfulness too.I,m not a great socialiser,I tried a couple of things but it didn't work for me,that doesn't mean it wouldn't for you,so have a look around locally and see if anything appeals,even though you are feeling disinterested something might re spark interest if you try it,and if it doesn't then you havnt lost anything.Start small and set yourself a do able goal.I wasn't going to get a degree or a dazzling new career,but a six week course with a few hours study was do able,and lead to more.I think that's what the second year is.Learning to be more content with your own company,or taking steps towards new things.The great big hole they left won't go away,but in time you can start building little fences to stop you falling all the way back in,but first you have to build a ladder to climb back out,and grab every time you find yourself sliding back down.
If you can't,and this depression won't shift orvgets worse,don't be afraid to go to your GP for help.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Feeling so stressed and lonely
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2017, 10:33:09 PM »
What kind of interests did you have before?   I've always been into art and various crafts, love making things.  I found on my journey that joining instagram helped me (my friends daughter kept telling me to join).  I found following different people gave me inspiration again and helped me get back to being creative

Xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Gingey

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Re: Feeling so stressed and lonely
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2017, 02:02:14 PM »
Thanks for replies.
Yes I think anniversary affected me badly...felt had some ok days before it, now feel steps back.
I knit sometimes and read a lot but concentration is a problem.
I never was good being on own now its so much worse. Just feel so isolated and alone wven though I have coffee or lunch out, I find the empty house is a big big hurdle.
Dont have many friends or family
 :hug:


Offline Karena

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Re: Feeling so stressed and lonely
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2017, 04:01:58 PM »
 :hug: i know thats part of the problem coming home too the empty house is so difficult to get used too sometimes its easier just to not go out,not possible for me as i work,my routine is come through the door, switch kettle on make a cup of tea,then straight out into the garden and feed the birds so i can watch them while it drink the tea. Obviouseley easier said than done as it gets colder wetter and darker earlier,but it works when i can do it,somehow going back into the house from the garden feels better then than just going straight through the front door and then thinking -now what.I put a gazebo up through the summer (gazebo now deceased due to wind) but I,m busy thinking of a way to make a roof shelter just by the back door with solar fairy lights round so i can keep doing it, and maybe light firepit there too for longer stays on weekend nights.   

Offline Fleur

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Re: Feeling so stressed and lonely
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2017, 09:04:56 PM »
Hi Gingey. I'm new here, I read your post and was moved by what you said about coming home to an empty home and being alone. These are the things I struggle with too. I can manage to put on a brave face when I am out but it dissolves when I come home.
I use the radio to keep me company and whilst I used not to like to have it on before my husband died I find that now it breaks the ominous silence. I suppose, like a lot of others, I have to find ways to cope. I wish you well.
This too shall pass.