Author Topic: Wife died today  (Read 9950 times)

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Offline GHOST

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #15 on: January 26, 2018, 08:16:26 PM »
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 03:46:08 PM by GHOST »

Offline Karena

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2018, 08:13:19 PM »
I know the area you are.Gatehouse of fleet was my childhood holiday destination.We used to hire a caravan at Auchenlaurie near gatehouse of fleet.It is very beautiful.

I would like a faster camera but as you say they are heavy and with digital write times even ith a fast card it would have to be top of the range I imagine.My point and shoot isn't too bad though good zoom and some manual options.Phone is ok for scenery and suprisingly good nightime function but has no zoom.
I have a lot of pictures of the sea on the camera where I missed the dolphins but i got too the point I stopped trying because it took away the magic of the moment.While looking through the camera where one was you don't see the other one on the other side of the boat.
I chuckled at your story of Ruth leading the rally she sounds like a remarkable and fun lady.
I once got caught up in a road protest when foot and mouth was on.They were slow driving then turning round and going back.I had no idea I assumed as I left town that the traffic was stopped due too an accident so took a back road hoping to get round it.Hen I got back too the main road it was still queued up but someone kindly let me out.When we got too the village people were lining the road clapping and the police were directing the turn round so I couldn't even escape but had to head back down again.My daughter who was with me was a teenager then and laying low in the passenger seat embarrassed her mates  would see her but she change her tune when she went back to school and got told her mum was the ultimate in cool for being a protester.( I didn't tell her until years later about my student days of intended protest)

I am glad you are getting some help sorting things out  :hug:
As for the owls they are such special birds too me .I always think they are bringing us a message of hope and encouragement ( nothing to do with Harry Potter but a much more ancient thing)

Offline GHOST

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2018, 08:55:45 PM »
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 03:47:03 PM by GHOST »

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2018, 10:11:38 PM »
The owl is truly stunning! You are very talented :-)
And please dont reduce what you type about, the forum is here for all sorts of chat and  I for one am really enjoying learning about things with you xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline GHOST

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2018, 11:12:29 PM »
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 03:47:34 PM by GHOST »

Offline Karena

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #20 on: January 28, 2018, 05:43:45 PM »
Wow I love your owl .Think with that srt of skill you would be wasted on a " so called proper job"
Auchenlaurie wasn't massive back then but not the smallest around..I remember there was a farm just across the road where they did pontrecking and ever since often a barn dance.I think I could just about manage the Gaye Gordon's now but would only do so after a lot of ribena. but the rest I have no idea how to do.My mum used to know them all and taught me but then teenage years and my discovery of Northern soul,flares and platform shoes came along which diverted me away from that kind of stuff .( how on Earth did we ever dance in those shoes)
I did think about doing a green wood carving course but didn't get round too it but I agree wood is very calming I do love trees and forests.But when I get a log for the stove that has a beautiful bark or shape I tend to make it a decorative garden feature rather than burn it.Also coppice a hazel in the garden for pea sticks etc.I also have a Deadwood fence round the area I grow veg that was fun to build as well as log piles for frogs etc
Don't worry about rambling it's good to talk about everyday stuff as well as bereavement as not having anywhere to do that is a big part of missing them and coping with being alone.If you look on the list of sections on the main page you will see we have a section called everyday chat because it's important to have that.

Offline GHOST

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2018, 07:47:34 PM »
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 03:48:03 PM by GHOST »

Offline GHOST

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2018, 09:49:31 PM »
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 03:48:34 PM by GHOST »

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2018, 08:15:24 AM »
Thankfully stigma is changing on mental health, the mental health foundation is doing alot of work to raise awareness and encourage people to talk.  I'm dealing with my anxiety and panic attacks at the moment,  it's not nice.   :hearts:

Love the craft club idea.  I always find making stuff and hobbies a good therapy for anxiety - and getting to know the group will be really good too.  When you're ready

There's some sayings that a Robin is a loved one visiting. I've had several close encounters with a Robin since I lost my dad - one landed just an arms length from me when I was filling the peanut feeders ages ago - they're so cute with alot of attitude :-) xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #24 on: January 29, 2018, 12:38:22 PM »
We had a tame robin at the old house -I found hime lierally frozen too a path -thawed him out in a box in the shed and fed him for a few days then left the shed door open so he could leave when he chose -he stayed around the shed going in and out as he chose then disapeared-only to re-appear the next winter -i knew it was the same one because he had a dark patch on his chest where the replacement feathers he grew after being stuck never grew back red.Over then next couple of years he brought fledglings too our feeders and though nothing of coming into the house given half a chance -he even used to tap on the window if we were late getting up.There was a picket fence at the front of the house he used to do a little dance on -picturing him dancing up and down on that fence was where i focussed my mind during parts of the funeral to keep from breaking down.
After i moved i was working away in the new garden. So many of those days was spent in blind misery but on this day i was suddenly aware of a robin singing so loudly i couldnt ignore it and at the same time could feel the sun on my back and a touch of happiness in my heart  -it only lasted a few minutes but it became a pivotal turning point -because just for that moment i had re-engaged with the world and it was something to build on. It would be over romantacising to think it was the same robin -i didnt even see it, but that doesnt really matter.

I am fairly certain the famiily at the farm ran the pony trecking back then as a sideline and were local and scottish -It must have been long before the days of the brazillian

I,m from the dales too - the sunday biker meetups at kirby lonsdale still happen and there is another place on the A59 between Skipton and Bolton Abbey called route 59 cafe which also welcomes bikers -although how on earth they fit so many bikers into such a small cafe i dont know.
I like Malham but Gordale scar and Janets Foss are my favourite spots round there rather than Malham cove.

I did go for the church choice for the funeral but this one is very old on a lay line and on a former pagan site and has a feeI of something much more ancient and embedded in the natural world than anywhere else i could have chosen - but the funeral should absolutely be your choice -it is about Ruth and her life , rather than other peoples traditional ideas.The formatt of keiths funeral was about the things he loved, the vicar at the time wasnt a traditionalist (he sang in a rock group)  There were raised eyebrows in some quarters but thats ok each too their own.

I think the craft group would be a good place to start when you are ready to reach out to people.And Emz is right, there is more understanding now -you might be suprised how many people have the same feelings of panic in a supermarket myself included -but i have only just "come out" about my anxiety too anyone outside this site, and mentioned it last week too some-one else who  i didnt know but told me she has panic attacks but only ever in supermarkets.The person on the other side of her then said he is ok until he gets too the checkout but then starts getting overwraught -his solution was to add up his shopping and have the exact money ready in advance as it was fear of holding up the queue that was driving this.
We live under this kind of veneer in which business as usual is seen to be the greatest importance,have a society in which convenience is built around that but it seems to me that the modern world can be really very toxic too our mental as well as physical health.

RE the green wood course -i had plenty to hand at the time, and i had seen some pictures of a branch with owls carved out -again garden stuff  -and just thought it would be nice to learn how to do it.I dont think i have a great need for wooden spoons either though.

I think the craft group would be a good place to start when you are ready to reach out to people.

Long story with the owl connection  - but last night i couldnt sleep, got up went outside for a smoke -not a sound except the wind,then came back in made a cup of tea and set off back up stairs as i got too the landing i said (too the empty air)  you didnt even send me a hoot. Put the tea down went into the bathroom -taking less than 30 seconds and i heard an owl -just one call -but it  felt like a reply.

Offline GHOST

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #25 on: January 29, 2018, 08:33:33 PM »
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 03:49:03 PM by GHOST »

Offline GHOST

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #26 on: January 29, 2018, 08:53:20 PM »
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 03:49:34 PM by GHOST »

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #27 on: January 29, 2018, 09:45:13 PM »
I have always loved art & craft, and I seem to collect craft hobbies now lol :-)  I love to draw, recently I started having a go at cartoon style drawing, normally I would draw things I can see (still life etc, have drawn a motorbike, last year an eye), oil painting (nature scenes), origami, jewellery making, work with clay (including silver metal clay).  Just before Christmas I made flowers out of wire and nail varnish.

I am also learning to make clothes on my sewing machine - very slowly, but enjoying learning :-) xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #28 on: January 30, 2018, 02:45:52 PM »
Bizare as it sounds given i work as a graphic designer i have never been able to draw much as i would like too - i think its hand eye co-ordination which is less of an issue on a computer, but on the other hand i could do embroidery -and not just cross stitch kits but more creative abstract stuff from my own. (i could also see to thread a needle back then )quilting is another used to for the same reason.I taught myself to crohet though a couple of years back.
Good luck with the sewing machine Emz -they really hate me so i spend more time re-threading and unpicking and then trying to resore my calm than i would have if i did it by hand to start with. :rofl:

I do know both those places Brian theyre a bit over commercial now - but we used to go picking bilberrys there and How stein also has "organised activitys" now but still stunning out of season. Gordale definitely does have an amazing feel about it when the day trippers have gone.There is  camp site at the bottom there -the owner is, to put it very politely, a bit of a character, but the site is brilliantly located for early morning exploring, and then an evening dip in Janets Foss below it.

I have a hen pheasant hanging around at the moment and have started accidently spilling some bird food where she hangs out -i suspect as theyre normally up on the moors it is related to shooting season and she has managed to fly off and escape -i hope she has the sense to hang round for just a couple more days now until its closed season again.

I love it when nature comes too us. I,m sure your strutting pheasants have remebered where there is a soft touch.
There was a duck in our croft at the old house that used to attack you if you went anywhere near it then one morning i was hanging the washing out and the dog was stood stock still growling and staring at the pond and there in the middle was the duck with a dozen chicks. She didnt hang around very long a couple of days and luckilly the daft dog was scared of water, but he had to be kept under careful supervision in case she came on land -he would have had them given the chance so just as well she didnt decide it was home.
She took them down too the stream opposite and was later spotted by some-one else, heading for the river -but only 8 chicks in tow by then- we searched the bank but no sign of the missing ones they arnt the best mothers in the world.
We also had a nest right over the door that spotted flycatchers returned too every year.When Keith died i clung on too the house longer than i could afford partly because of them as there was a nest full of babys in the viginia creeper that the landlord had been heard to say was getting chopped so that cost me three months rent to stay until they had fledged.They were worth it though -amazing to watch them catching flys and funny to watch them dive bomb and narrowly miss anyone who came too the door.

I hope today wasnt as bad as you were dreading  Brian. :hug: 



Offline Emz2014

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Re: Wife died today
« Reply #29 on: January 30, 2018, 05:56:26 PM »
On the topic of sewing I'm very excited/happy that I have managed to finish my first ever item of clothing! A pair of pyjama bottoms!  Nothing extravagant but I'm pleased to make an item of clothing that can be worn! :-) xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx