Author Topic: Hello again - 6 months on  (Read 1500 times)

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Offline EmmaInRome

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Hello again - 6 months on
« on: February 19, 2018, 11:50:47 AM »
Hello all,

I was directed to this group via a cancer support group following the death of my ex partner Luca. I signed up here & even introduced myself - then haven't really been back here since then.

Luca was young. in his mid 50s (I am 47) & we were together for 8 years (my longest relationship) remaining close after we broke up in 2006. On March the 1st 2017 he was diagnosed with metastasised lung cancer - he died on August 21st.

I went through so much - too much to write in an introduction...it is all still so painful - I still cry (am now) and think & dream about him frequently...I plan to go and see his tomb on the 6 month anniversary of his death...although I haven't really wanted to go there, feeling 'he isn't there'...I keep in contact with his family - went to see his elderly mother a few weeks ago - that makes me feel more connected to him...

There was a lot of pain and drama around what happened to him - esp with his family - lots of secrets & lies which was awful...

I am lucky: I have dear friends & a loving family (in the UK though, I live in Rome) - and of late I have done some writing, just a little, not like me at all, but can't afford therapy & thought it would be a good way to get in touch with my feelings. One thing I have felt quite strongly is that I don't want to get so wrapped up in my pain that I don't appreciate what I DO have here and now - does that make sense... I would have to say Luca is the closest person I have lost so far in life...we had a difficult relationship, but there was a deep love and care underneath all the conflict - for me he was like a brother...he was always there for me - I could write more about this, there is a lot more to say...but again, maybe for another time...


Anyway - I am not really sure how things work in this group - but felt that maybe it could be time to come back and try again here... Is it just message boards?

Any tips you can give me on how to use this would be appreciated.

Many thanks,

Emma

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Hello again - 6 months on
« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2018, 07:38:32 PM »
Hi Emma

People use the board in a variety of ways, can ask for tips, just come to share whats on your mind/need to talk through, can do a diary where you regularly write to your loved one or just join us for some light hearted daily chat
We are not professionals here, just a group of people who have lost loved ones and all understand the grief rollercoaster. Xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline EmmaInRome

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Re: Hello again - 6 months on
« Reply #2 on: February 19, 2018, 10:51:04 PM »
Thank you Emz - is there a live chat session/room? If so could you give me a look no for it please?

Again, many thanks 🙏

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Hello again - 6 months on
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2018, 08:13:02 AM »
yes, there is.  A link for it can be found on the home page (http://www.bereavementuk.co.uk/), you will see it further down in the list - called live evening chatting with members
We also have a facebook page, and the link is in the same list  :hearts: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Hello again - 6 months on
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2018, 10:27:36 AM »
Hi again.
If you find writing helps then you could start your own diary thread -i used to write one in letter form on the old forum board -i found the act of writing helped -reading back when i felt i had taken 1 step forward and 2 back just so i could see that it wasnt really the case -but also because i was writing letters it also helped me focus on the here and now because it wasnt all about how much i missed him but also what i was doing what familly was doing -where i had been,the stse of the garden -just everyday stuff that i supose you would write in an old fashioned letter if some-one had gone away for any reason.

Offline EmmaInRome

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Re: Hello again - 6 months on
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2018, 04:47:10 PM »
Thanks again Emz & Karena