Author Topic: Lost my partner  (Read 1258 times)

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Offline LucyD1980

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Lost my partner
« on: July 24, 2018, 01:14:37 PM »
Good afternoon everyone,

I’m new here, I’m after some support as I lost my partner 6 months ago. He had been battling depression and anxiety but unfortunately at a low ebb 2 days before Christmas he took an overdose. I feel so lost without him, I have so many conflicting emotions that I feel like I’m going mad. I’ve arranged some counselling through my GP and thankfully that starts next week. I’m finding it hard to keep it together, I had been doing quite well until an anxiety attack recently which has made me feel worse. I’m so lonely too, I miss him so much. I can’t believe it’s been 6 months already

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Lost my partner
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2018, 08:26:50 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Lost my partner
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2018, 10:31:26 AM »
Also sending you a welcome  :hug:. Its a roller coaster joureny and many of us here have shared the experience of thinking we are doing ok, then being hit by it over again.It takes a long time but does start to at least become more bearable eventually. Going for counselling helped me a lot - it isnt a cure for grief - there is no cure  but it at least can help you understand your emotions better and sugest ways to help overcome things like panic attacks. You are not going mad - but i know that feeling that you are only too well. I also found coming here helped = you can see others also going through this which helps with the feeling that you are going mad, use it as a place to write when perhaps talking with those around you is difficult, and even help with the everyday chat section to relieve some of the lonliness.

Offline LucyD1980

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Re: Lost my partner
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2018, 10:41:43 AM »
Thank you both. It’s such an overwhelming mix of emotions, I’m angry he left me but I feel I failed him and let him down. I miss him so much, I also had to move out of our rented flat, I couldn’t afford to stay there on my own and Andy passed away at home so I know I couldn’t have remained there. I just want him back as we used to be, but I know I’m never going to see him again. I hope wherever he is that he is at peace, he suffered so much

Offline Karena

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Re: Lost my partner
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2018, 12:00:39 PM »
 :hug: Anger and guilt are normal feelings and so difficult to come to terms with,I have no doubt you did your best to help and thats all any of us can do but every one of us here has probably at some point found a reason to feel guilty under all the circumstances suround losing our loved one, because this cruel journey makes us think like that  could we have said or done something different and changed it, in truth the answer is no, because we dont have that kind of forsight, if we had said or done the opposite, the outcome would probably have been the same and then we would be asking ourselves should we have done/said what we actually did instead and so the circle of bus and maybe goes round and round..
Depression is a beast which surounds people, i had a close friend who did the same and questioned did i do enough, even though i did everything i could think of at the time, he simply hid his intention better, even to the point of laying a false trail so we all looked in the wrong places for him. We cant get past it to reach them and pull them out of those dark clouds, but i,m sure they know we try, and we are there for them and love them, even through that hell they are living in. :hug: