Author Topic: Introducing myself  (Read 1371 times)

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Offline Nikki

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Introducing myself
« on: December 19, 2018, 02:54:56 PM »
Hi everyone,

This is my first time on a forum like this, so I am a little unsure what to write, but here goes.

Within the last 12 months I have lost 3 members of my family, on my mums side. First was my aunt in August 2017, who suffered from lung cancer, closely followed by her brother, my uncle, in September 2017. He died of cancer in the muscles, tissues and major organs in his body. And then was my mum. The biggest blow of all. She was diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer at the beginning of March this year and by the middle of June she was gone. I have biggest hole in my heart that I just cannot seem to fill up. I feel desperately lonely despite having some close relatives who are also going through this loss.

As if that wasn't enough, in the last 2 months I have suffered a relationship breakdown (after 15 years being together), and then 2 days ago I was told my uncle (on my dads side) has been newly diagnosed with bowel cancer.

It feels as though my life has just changed overnight and I am struggling to put one foot in front of the other at the moment. I am so lost. I guess I am just looking to hear from others who are or have been in a similar situation, as not everyone truly understands just how much this all hurts.

Thank you for taking the time to read this....

 :cry:



Offline Emz2014

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2018, 07:43:26 PM »
Sending you a welcome hug  :hug:
It is hard with multiple losses, and grief certainly adds alot of stress to relationships.  It does feel like we lose ourselves on the bereavement journey and its a very confusing time - often wanting comfort/company but also wanting to be alone

It helps to try to take it one day at a time. Xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2018, 12:30:55 PM »
 :hug: multiple losses so close together must have absolutely shattered your world - as Emz says the only way forward is to take it slowly and get through each day as it comes - but mainly be kind to yourself. :hug:

Offline Sandra61

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2018, 11:10:55 AM »
So sorry to hear about what you are going through Nikki, especially losing your mum. I know how very hard that is.

As the ladies say. try to take it a day at a time. Try to remember to eat and drink too. So many of us forget to when going through such traumas. Little things can help, like putting flowers round the house, taking a walk in the park, treating yourself to something new to you, like taking up a new interest of some sort. I joined a class and that really helped. It takes you out of yourself for a couple of hours a week and takes your mind off your troubles. You might even meet some nice new people and that can really help too. Little things, but the little things really help when you are feeling lonely and low.

You could try the live chat on this website too. It can help to just chat with people who are going through similar experiences. You are probably stronger than you think, so don't give up. Look for things to do that will help you. I think the worst thing you can do is stay indoors on your own. It will only make you feel worse. Take it a day at a time and be gentle with yourself.

There is no time limit on grieving and no best way to do it. Try some strategies out and see what helps you best.

Thinking of you and sending hugs...

Offline PinkRoses

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2019, 12:04:49 PM »
Hi,

I cannot even begin to imagine the level of loss and paint that you have been going through and still going through. I am sending you a big hug :hug: and also strength, energy, wisdom and grace to get through what seems an insurmountable mountain, just take it a step at a time, go slowly, and be gentle on yourself. Keep us posted how you are. Much love.xx