introducing myself...

[Becks1871]

Hi,

I'm Becks. I have never used a site like this, and to be honest I'm not entirely sure what I expect to get from joining. I lost my Nan in March and her funeral was held in April. She had a great life (92 when she passed) and to be honest her passing was for the best as she suffered a lot the past 10 years of her life. I'm not really sure how I now feel, but some days I feel angry that she is gone, other days sad to have lost her and at other times guilty that I feel any of this as I know that there are people in much worse positions than me and my family.
Joining this site is somewhat of a knee jerk reaction I'm afraid. I was watching Britains Got Talent tonight (no judging please!) and there was a Mother and Daughter singing together. I don't know why but I burst into tears. Just something about how close they were really got to me and made me realise how much I miss my Nan. She was the closest person in my life and whilst I am so pleased that she is now at peace, I am feeling incredibly lonely without her, and if i'm really honest, I'm feeling mad at her for leaving me. Does that make me selfish?
I didn't expect to find myself sitting here and typing all of this, but hey, better out than in right?

Like I say, I really don't know what I am expecting, but I figure that I can't keep all of these feelings bottled up forever.
So Hi everyone! this is me....Apologies for my ramblings!

Becks x

[Hubby]

Hi Becks. Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear of your loss.

All those emotions you describe, anger, sadness, guilt, are the classic signs of grief and perfectly normal as we try to make sense of our loss. These emotions cannot be bottled up and will find their way out, it's all part of the grieving process

This forum is a great place to offload some of those feelings and just by taking the time to write them down can sometimes help you to clear your head. You will get support from members who are all going through similar situations. There really is no need for any apologies as we all understand how difficult coping with grief is.

Wishing you strength

 

[Soleil]

Hi Becks,

You have come to a very good forum with caring people. You can write down your thoughts anytime and will not be judged but will find support and friendship. Loss is hard no matter how old the loved one. Anger is one of the many emotions that come with grief so don't be hard on yourself.  If you choose to read the posts, you will see many of us have gone through it. 

[Becks1871]

Thank you both for your lovely replies. I think writing my introduction helped last night. I told my partner about getting upset and whilst he tries to support me the best he can, I think he struggles to know what to say. In reality sometimes I don't want him to say anything but just give me a cuddle and let me cry.
I feel much better this morning than last night.  Work keeps me busy and I find comfort in knowing that I am doing a job than made my Nan proud.
I think this site, is a wonderful support and I'm pleased that I have joined. 

[Norma]

(((Hugs))) xx

 

[Dave Administrator]

Hi and welcome Becks.

I always love it when someone like yourself tries a different approach to dealing with there sorrow and finds themselves here for support which we want to do  I can promise you that you get out of this kind forum what you put in and that is to post post post, because like you have already experienced, just putting pen to paper so to speak can help tremendously with your healing.

We are blessed here with the most supportive and understanding people you could have ever have hoped to help you through your journey and trust me on real bad days can become a lifeline we all so desparatly need sometimes.

I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Nan Becks and may she rest in peace knowing how much you loved her.

[Becks1871]

Thank you Dave that was a nice thing to read.

I will post as much as I can and I really hope that alongside finding comfort and dealing with my own grief I will be able you support and comfort others who are also dealing with their own difficult journeys. What a wonderful forum and community to be apart of, even if it is for sad reasons. 

[Norma]

Welcome Becks believe me hun the support on here can be so uplifting, and it helps because with reading others posts we realise we arent going mad how we feel is normal xxx

 

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug  xx

[zebedee]

Hi
Im also new here too, and not sure what to expect either :)

Sorry to hear about your nan.

Hugs x