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[sallymk1]

Hi Brian
I know exactly what you mean. The quietness, the lonliness just adds to the feelings of loss and emptiness. I was going stir crazy here as well. Like you say, the tv does not help, the dogs won't talk back. I'm beginning to think I won't have any social skills left when I finally attempt to rejoin the world. I could phone someone but I'm sure they don't want to listen to me being miserable on the phone ruining their Saturday evening for them.
I've got to have my boiler replaced early this coming week. A lot of distruption when I could do without it. I hope my son can make it over as I don't fancy tackling a lot of questions I can't answer or making any decisions. Got to clean up a bit as well, not done much of that recently.
If I had any good suggestions I would share them with you. Try anything, playing a game on your computer, watching a film or something maybe. Hope you manage to find something, if not try chatting some more on the forum.
Wishing you peace of mind - Pam

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[Emz2014]

Sending you both a big hug    this is truly a challenging part of the journey.
One thing that helped me through lonely evenings years ago was to find a way to be absorbed in a hobby.  I remember I 'lost' entire evenings over one week as I became so absorbed in doing a pencil drawing of a motorbike. I'd come home from work, eat something quick, start drawing and before I knew it it was time for bed.  I also had 3 dogs at the time, who helped so much.

Give that friend a call, even if you are feeling down I'm sure your friend would like to help. I've found if it feels awkward to just pick up the phone I text beforehand to 'pencil in' a time to talk.

There is the live chat room too, which I believe people are in each evening, maybe give that a try and see how you get on?  Can feel much more like a live conversation. I also survived many lonely nights chatting online years ago and made a very good friend that way too - we helped each other survive a really difficult time in our lives, whilst also listening to some great music. I may have been alone but having that live connection/chat helped so much xx

[Karena]

  Every day now the daylight is getting that little bit longer so more critter time and I have learned to appreciate the beauty of clouds scuddering over the moon Sometimes I light a small fire pit wrap up and take a hot chocolate out with me just to watch it.But that doesn't take away from being alone.Being alone isn't the same as lonely though, and often I still feel lonely  but have over time become more at peace with being alone.
Winter is prep time.What will I do in the garden what can I do in the house to free up time to do it.If you have some woodworking ideas in mind perhaps draw up some plans and sketches for how you might tackle them.
Tv is on almost all the time  am at home but I am rarely actually watching it but it is better than constant silence
Yes I do talk too myself and I talk too Keith too sometimes.
Used to talk too the dog when he was alive  but the most ridiculous thing was when I caught myself one morning feeding the fish before leaving for work then saying ( as I used too to the dog) be a good boy.
I seriously question my sanity at times.But being here knowing this place and people are here does certainly help too.

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[Karena]

once a rebel always a rebel Brian -and long may that be the case.But i dont think you will have been barred from the chatroom but i cant see why your user name wouldnt work.I dont use it -too fast moving for me -but maybe some-one who does can explain.I agree there is more goes on at night in the great outdoors than we imagine -i also love the sound of passing geese, its one of those things that makes me smile. Keith and I went too a place called cardigan island and there was a pond full of geese -i wnated to get a photo of them in formation so we stayed for some time and watching them how they go about those RAF type formations -one goose was honking and getting  a group of others lined up to take off in formation. They would build up the noise take off and fly out to sea then another -squardron leader would start honking and the next lot lined up and took off as the first lot came back -it was amazing too watch and discover that something we dont really give that much thought too is so precisely organised and as they pass now, there may be several making a noise but if you watch and listen there is one directing them.

My fish is a parrot cychlid called pushkin (after alexander puskin because he is a bit of a rebel - although a literary, rather than motorbike riding one) I rescued him from a trip down the uk drains too blackpool after he was accused of canibalism. The tanks owners daughter was in tears - please would i have him -(always a succker for a sad animal tale)  so i  bought a small tank, heater and pump and brought him home.
Little did i know he was going to grow to 8 inches long, live a long time and require a much bigger tank until after i had made that comittment.So now he has been with me for 6 years and is in a 140 litre tank that takes up a huge space in the living room and requires a lot of effore at water change time.
In the opposite corner is the original tank containing the survivng one surviving goldfish that two grandkids won at a fair then had no-where to house them.I thought the arrangement was that they were taking the tank -how wrong i was - they brought the fish.
I,m not entirely sure if this fish is called Jake or hamlet as each claims the survivor as his own.
I plan to get him some friends now he has survived long enough for me to see he hasnt got diseases that might wipe them all out. Pushkin,however i,m afraid remains in solitary confinement
but he doesnt seem too mind.

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[Karena]

He is orange -but originally was pink or blue the people had one of each -sadly they actually dye the poor things to make them sell better - worse than that some they actually tattoo and some even cut part part of their tail fin too make a heart shape -it never ceases too amaze me what depths of cruelty people will sink too to sell something -i didnt know anything about them when i got him -and given his longevity i guess the dyeing doesnt harm them, but i wasnt impressed when i read about these practices.

We had quite a bit of snow yesterday and it froze but hasnt put any more down so hopefully friday will be ok in that sense -will be thinking of you on the day though.

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[Emz2014]

I really despise how some people think its ok to mistreat animals.  Seems endless cases, no animal is safe from some humans only caring about making money :-(  thank goodness there are those who do care, and those that try to make a difference. I've found being home recently there's an advert that keeps coming on about donkeys being mistreated, and I find it so hard to bear - I just dont understand how people can do these things to animals

Love rory's new haircut :-)  will be thinking of you Friday.  xx

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[Emz2014]

I cannot understand hunting either. Some people are just wrong in the head! 

Sounds much more successful than my dog, first time he went for a nail trim he squeeled and wriggled so much they couldnt do it (he's too big/muscley), the last time he was well behaved but the vet caught his quick on the 2nd nail, bled everywhere and he came home with a bandaged paw after!  Still remember him sat on sofa giving me a dirty look as if to say 'I was fine before the appt, now I have a bandage!' Xx

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[Karena]

I think i know the programme you meant Brian -i,m usually glued too any wildlife documentarys but that one was focussed entirely on predators hunting -yes we do all know it happens its nature and its survival -it doesnt mean i want to watch it though, but for humans it isnt survival except in very few cases in remote tribes etc -certainly not in the UK.No-one needs to eat pheasant or grouse, yet ensuring they survive long enough to be shot requires destruction of other animals that compete for the land theyre on.
badger cull to save cattle -yes bovine TB is a tragedy but as a solution it isnt completely proven, yet the cull goes on anyway.
Rhinos becoming extinct will not be a matter of concern too those at the top of the poaching chain -when it happens their rhino horn trophy will become more valuable -how sick is that. 

At the same time though even those of us who dont shoot things,and would never be deliberately cruel  it is still so very difficult too avoid being part of a system that inflicts cruelty -plastic, palm oil, habitat destruction,inseciticdes, there are so many ways we are part of this and its really hard work -nigh on impossible not to be in some way contributing too it.

Rory looks very neat Brian, glad he behaved at the vets.