Author Topic: Lost  (Read 1733 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Pambo

  • New Members
  • *
  • Posts: 8
  • Karma: +0/-0
Lost
« on: March 06, 2018, 08:45:16 PM »
My husband died six months ago six weeks after being taken into hospital with breathing problems 😪 . His health had been slowly declining since 2016 . I was working part time and was his carer we'd been married for forty two years we had done everything together he was my soulmate and now I feel so lost without him I started back to work in October2017 on reduced part time hours and until two weeks ago was managing then out of the blue I felt like my grief had just kicked in and I feel worse now than when my husband first passed away .I don't want to get up in a morning don't want to do anything I'm crying all the time and  I can't hold the tears back like I could before I feel like shutting myself away and don't know what to do. I haven't got many friends and my family is small is the way I'm feeling common after six months ?

Offline Emz2014

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1904
  • Karma: +130/-0
Re: Lost
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2018, 09:12:03 PM »
Grief is truly a rollercoaster, just when we think we have got the hang of it another emotion crashes in. I think the earlier days/weeks are filled with shock, so much to organise & do, then as time goes on people drift back to their own lives and there are other challenges. We're suddenly then faced with looking further ahead. So I think it is normal. (All our journeys are also unique, although we have lots of similarities).  Do you have people you can talk to about how you feel? It helps to be able to talk, and this site helped me so much.  I hope we can be help and support to you too  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Pambo

  • New Members
  • *
  • Posts: 8
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Lost
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2018, 10:22:42 AM »
Thank you for replying to my post I have got people I can talk to but I've always been quite a private person and have never been comfortable sharing my problems or thoughts with other people although I do confide in my sister and I know she is there for me but there are something's I can't share with her. My main concern at the moment is work I don't think I'm capable of carrying out my job I have a lot of responsibility to get my job right and feel if I was at work right now I'd spend most of the time in the toilet crying or having anxiety attack but then I feel I'm letting my husband down because he struggled to go to work when he was so poorly and I also feel I'm putting unwanted pressure on work colleagues because of staff shortages I just don't know how to carry on .

Offline Karena

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2132
  • Karma: +145/-0
Re: Lost
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2018, 01:27:46 PM »
It is quite common as the reality of the situation takes a greater hold but because it is a roller coaster you may find that this is temporary -you go back to managing then it hits you again but each time it does it isnt quite as hard or as long lasting as the last time.You may also find when you are actually at work you do manage -its when you are away from it that you breakdown and then as part of that, begin to fear and build and build anxiety too a point where you think you wont be able to do your job properly without that being the reality.
I have spent time crying in the toilet or behind the shed but was able to then carry on and continue working -i think it helps if you have in mind a place to escape too and take a deep breath -and knowing it is there this then lessens the anxiety and you need to actually do it less often.Also go out in your lunchbreak a quick walk round the block can work wonders.
I found this place helped not only because people here do understand, and because you can sometimes speak to total strangers more candidly than those closest too you -but also just the act of writing those feelings down helps.I hope that this site will offer the lifeline it offered me. :hug:

Offline Pambo

  • New Members
  • *
  • Posts: 8
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Lost
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2018, 07:56:50 AM »
Thank you for your reply it does help writing things down. I do hope this site will he!p me through this difficult time.