Writing to loved ones

[Rachel]

Just wondering if anyone uses a journal to write to loved ones that have passed? I miss ringing my mum up and having a good natter with her telling her what the kids have been doing or having a rant about husbands mother lol !!

I think it may help or is it a bit weird??

[Emz2014]

I havent done it myself but I believe others here do.  I dont think it's weird atall  I have always found journaling very therapeutic so can imagine this would be too xx

[Hubby]

I wrote a letter to my wife and put it in with her which I believe helped me.

I mentioned it to my counsellor and she suggested that I could write further letters or keep a journal but I have not done so so far. To be honest I had forgotten all about it but I could see how it would help. It's certainly not weird.

[Julie Magson]

I think it's a brilliant idea- I haven't done it yet but writing is something I really enjoy. My sister kept a journal about her hubby when she lost him, in it she detailed everything about him, all his special little ways, because she was frightened she would forget them. Even down to how he stirred his tea and brushed his hair- how he smiled etc.

[bythec]

Hi Rachel,

I have found noting things down can be useful, i bought myself a nice new journal notebook and a pen which makes my handwriting look nice and i carry it with me most of the time.

I've not used it much as it may still be a bit raw for me, but i sometimes try and write how i am feeling, some poetry, any quotes which i find comfort in and i think i will probably write letters to my dad. Like you say you spoke with your mum often, I spoke to him several times a week and i feel so sad that i can't update him on what going on or talk about the weather or what we are having for dinner, so it's a way to stay connected and put your feelings and thoughts somewhere.

Not for everyone but it might be a comfort for you.

[Karena]

Not at all weird.I wrote a journal to my husband the first time I went travelling without him.telling him all the things that were happening as well as writing down my feelings about doing it without him.I think also writing also helps to clarify things .By making something cohesive to read we make sense of the often jumbled thoughts our brains have.I also have a special notebook,much less intense than that first journal,but still somewhere to write not just sad thoughts and emotions now but things to remember in the here and now,sometimes funny or a beautiful place or something sighted.

[dizzylizzy]

I miss my mum so much. I wrote a poem which I read out at her funeral. Since then I have written to her to say the things that will forever remain unsaid. How sorry I am for leaving the hospital ward. Just unloading the guilt I feel which cannot be unburdened really. I don't blame myself for the choices I made and know why I did but with hindsight I made the wrong choice. I think writing the letter helped but Theres no use reading it back. It was just a release. As for the chats on the phone... aaawci miss them so much too.

[Karena]

I think the other thing about writing is that you force your mind to think logically.Sentences have to make sense,things have to be in order,so by writing you can clear some of the brain fog,that goes with grief.  I find that tires you out,makes you make mistakes and become forgetful so making sense on paper helps make sense in your head,which helps you function day to day.

[Hubby]

Spot on there Karena. The letter I wrote to Margaret brought out a lot of stuff I had been struggling with.