Author Topic: Hello thankyou all.  (Read 272 times)

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Offline petedenno

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Hello thankyou all.
« on: April 21, 2017, 12:00:34 PM »
What a lovely welcome,thank you for all the kind messages .My partner died beginning of March from breast cancer to the brain,we had been together 34 years,this last year was brilliant but this last month was the worst ,I hope it gets better Ive been in some dark places,Im sorry to say its comforting know to that you lovely  people know how I feeis.thank you so much it means  so much ...yours Pete xx

Offline Norma

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Re: Hello thankyou all.
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2017, 02:28:05 PM »
Sending you a welcome    :hug: Petedenno

My heart goes out to you gosh its not even 2 months yet since you lost your wife, you must still be in shock, to lose someone youve spent all those years with, its hard to find a way to carry on without them, but eventually and by taking small steps, sometimes  we go back a few steps as well we do fall into a routine of acceptance and a new'normal'.
Its important though that you look after yourself so you gain the strength to get you through the dark days x
Its been a rough week but i made it. How about you 💐

Offline Karena

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Re: Hello thankyou all.
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2017, 06:18:31 PM »
Welcome Pete.although its always with sadness that welcoming a new member is because of a loss.As Emz said it is very early days for you ,and many of us here have also visited those dark places.There were people here who helped drag me back out and I hope that this can be a place where you also get that help.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Hello thankyou all.
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2017, 07:10:55 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Julia

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Re: Hello thankyou all.
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2017, 08:18:37 PM »
Welcome Pete  :hug:

My partner died suddenly of bacterial meningitis exactly two months ago today. If I felt anything on that day, it was the complete disconnect from the world, I felt like I was the only one in the entire history of the universe going through such an unfair tragedy. When I started talking to people online about it, close friends etc, it was quite amazing and sad at the same time to hear all those stories how people lost their loved ones, and realise that some of them lost someone around the same time as I lost my partner. Strangely that has been helping me to feel less lonely and detached, and I hope that it will help you too to feel more comfortable to open up and simply talk about anything that comes to your mind. We should talk about death like we talk about birth, it is just as natural. Don't hold it in, you are not alone  :hug:

Offline petedenno

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Re: Hello thankyou all.
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2017, 01:38:05 AM »
Thank you all,sorry to hear about your husband  Julia so sad,my stomach has been churning all evening,found a annivesary card from my partner  saying look ing forward to the next 30 years,I didnt crack up but the sadness was very heavy .I  dont let the kids see the bad moments but sometimes it gets pretty dark as you all know . Its nice to be able to write about these sad times and know you all understand again thank you,

Offline Julia

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Re: Hello thankyou all.
« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2017, 06:50:25 AM »
I find pain and happy memories in almost everything, streets we walked together, places we visited, even small things like the part of the sofa he used to sit on, the side of the bed he used to sleep on, messages full of dreams for the future, everything turns into symbols of what's lost, but I'm trying to find comfort in that. I have to admit I didn't wash the bed sheets for two months, didn't want to have him out of bed. I hope with time you can start looking at those symbols with ease and love rather than pain, but for now, it's good to accept the pain, don't exhaust yourself fighting it away  :hug:

Offline petedenno

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Re: Hello thankyou all.
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2017, 12:01:27 PM »
Thank you Julia an everyone that reads this ,I am finding the days a little easier at the moment  I still have the odd down days,Sat I didn't want to leave the bed it was only my eldest son asking if I wanted to go out or did I want him to cook something that got me up and about.But on the whole the days are getting easier but the nights can be a little rough sometimes .I have started throwing the small stuff out ,things that doesn't really matter but the house was total hers she was a very creative woman, decoration ,furniture,3 wardrobes full of new cloths everything really,even the garden (which I haven't got a clue about).I have a daunting task ahead of me,but that is in the future,I have starting counselling and much to my disgust having to go back to work tomorrow,so things are moving slowly ,I have also  found and  perhaps other people have too that little problems that should not be a problem  turn  in to big problems and stop me in my tracks and I can find myself worrying about things in the future I have no control over ,stupid I know but at the moment it happens,anyway thank you all for all reading this I know you all have similar problems and heart aches but it helps to write about it.