Author Topic: New to this site  (Read 1518 times)

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Offline Jo1980

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New to this site
« on: March 18, 2018, 10:13:10 PM »
I have not done anything like this before but I am interested to meet people who understand me and what I have and still am going through.
I am coming up to the 2nd anniversary to my mums death from a brain tumour this week and I find it as hard if not harder to deal with.
Within 5 years I lost both parents and my life will never be the same.
My mum was also my best friend which has made it harder to deal with.
I have suffered from so many feelings from isolation to anger to asking why?
I am married but the death of my parents have got me questioning my marriage, I am originally from Essex but moved up north to live with my husband so resent him for that and feels alone and far away from my family. Also my husband is not very good with showing or letting me know what he is thinking which makes it very difficult to talk too him.
I have been seeing a counsellor since last August and honestly without him I do not think I would still be here.
March is a shitty month as both parents died in march.
I guess I am just wanting to know that there are people out there like me who find it hard every day to just get out of bed and to live life.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: New to this site
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2018, 10:26:58 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug:  we do have members who have lost both parents.  I hope you find this site helpful and supportive like I did
I think it is a normal part of grief to reevaluate everything, from relationships to work. It is hard to be dealing with all the emotions of grief.  My only advice is to give it time, sometimes things dont feel or look so good but it can be due to seeing life through the lens of grief  :hearts: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Jo1980

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Re: New to this site
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2018, 10:33:48 PM »
Thanks for the warm welcome.
I know they say time helps but I guess I am just finding that hard to believe as it seems to be getting hardercthan easier.
I do realise that some of what I am feeling are to do with the grief but I guess I am not a patient person and I want to be in a happy place now and not in 6-12 months time. As well as being inpatient I am also not good with my emotions and I feel weak when I show them.
These are all things I speak to my counsellor about but in the times I don’t see him I have no one to talk to so they all build up in my head which makes me feel bad.
Thanks again for the welcome x

Offline Emz2014

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Re: New to this site
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2018, 07:36:34 AM »
I found the second year seemed to bring its own challenges. And there were times when things felt like they were getting worse rather than better. It truly is a rollercoaster  :hearts:

I found I was unable to open up to people around me after a while, and it was so helpful to be able to come here and say what I was feeling, especially when I felt confused/conflicted, they were able to understand how I felt. Hopefully you can find the same here

One thing I found which really helped me was to try and notice good things around me every day - I try and write down 3 things a day. Even if it is just I had a nice coffee, or noticed something pretty in nature. It has helped me be more present in the current day (a form of mindfulness I guess)  some days is easy to do, some days can be harder but the more I do it the better I seem to be at bouncing back from any setbacks xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx