Author Topic: Still in shock  (Read 1573 times)

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Offline Daffodil

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Still in shock
« on: March 21, 2018, 08:34:22 AM »
In 2007, my lovely mum died very suddenly at a relatively young age. It basically broke me. My precious dog also died suddenly shortly after and my marriage broke down catastrophically with extended abuse from my ex-husband. My daughter hasn't spoken to me in 10 years. My dad then also suddenly passed away about 5 years ago. My beloved fiance then took his own life a couple of years later. I have basically shut down since so I don't feel anything at all. How much is one body supposed to bear?

Offline Karena

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Re: Still in shock
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2018, 11:47:06 AM »
Hi Daffodil. Welcome to the forum.
Given you have suffered so much loss and abuse as well it isnt really suprising you feel you have shut down -in a way shutting down is all we can do just to survive -living a half life not letting others in -because when we do they hurt us in one way or another. Recovery from that is a long process - it can take much longer than others or even ourselves expect it will. Looking at the timescales it seems your daughter stopped speaking to you just after the worst of this happened too.I think just like when a machine breaks down we can only really re-start it one componant at a time -so is there any way you could start by reaching out too her  and build that relationship slowly back up again.
As for your ex-there is no excuse for abuse -many women put up with it -but you didnt and thats a very brave thing -it shows you have strength -but you feel you have lost that on the way into this hell. It isnt lost but sometimes you just get so tired after having to be strong over and over again that you  feel you cant drag it out again.

We are not professional counselors here and a next step for you might be too seek counselling maybe your GP could help there  -but we are all at some stage on this grief journey so we understand and ty to support each other.Just finding this place and making your first post is a big step -but you took it and youre here now and we will try and help.
Even just writing things down somewhere can help you make sense of your own feelings because in writing you have to make sentances - and to do that you have to take some of the stuff that was in your head and put it into words. :hug:

Offline Daffodil

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Re: Still in shock
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2018, 12:43:55 PM »
Thanks, Karena. You understand exactly how it feels. Thanks for your kind words and the hug.  :hearts: