Author Topic: My Wife passed 7 months ago  (Read 43836 times)

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Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #150 on: July 30, 2017, 08:59:00 PM »
Well I can safely say that when it comes to mud we out competed Glastonbury. Only in the UK would you see benches of people drinking beer with their feet in 6 inches of water sitting on top of mud.Being the ladylike mature person I am,I did not in anyway encourage small children by jumping up and down in it. :whistle: and no I didn't take my wellies,and at an opportunistic forty quid a pair didn't buy any either. :rofl:
But overall a good weekend,lots of laughs and a few tears.Got that pit of the stomach empty house syndrome on the way home,but a warm bath,change out of damp clothes and poldark should help.
Woody do you still have records.Some of my Motown and northern soul downloads have the crackle,I guess they couldn't dub them out or chose not too.
I do work in graphic design but fell into it,no qualifications and I,m pretty sure if my school art teacher knew she would roll on the floor laughing.I was doing travel and tourism VTEC when Mark got I'll and left to look after him,which he wasn't happy about,so I promised to go back.After he died I finished that and a couple of A levels in the year then was persuaded to do HND.Then got accepted at a couple of units for degree top up,but the girls were growing up by then and I didn't want to move them and couldn't afford travel,so topped up with the only degree course the local college did which was business admin.Not my cup of tea,but in order to avoid producing endless chart style presentations that you had to stand up and tLk through I pushed PowerPoint to extremes adding music and photos and dialogue so they completely self ran.Doing that I discovered Photoshop.So went for work experience with the company I work for,which was supposed to be admin,but their adverts were really bad,so I designed one in my own time.They gave me part time work doing dispatch then when I got my degree full time doing that and designing adverts,packaging etc.As they grew in size that evolved to full time design. More recently while trying to find a way forward after losing Keith too,i did a few future learn courses and found i could write too,learned about permaculture and one day the dots joined up and I,m doing some voluntary stuff for a school gardens project in Africa.Not only great fun to do but a really worthwhile project.
Poldark is calling so I will wish you goodnight.

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #151 on: July 30, 2017, 10:44:35 PM »
Hi Karena,
I am really pleased you have a good weekend, but a real shame about the weather, it was good, that you had some laughs.
Karena, yes, I still have hundreds of 45's, EP's and LP's. I love records, this is going to sound really stupid though, at the moment, I have nothing to play them on, we were contemplating, buying a refurbished Dansette record player, as both Janice and myself, had them, when we were teenagers, unfortunately, we never got one and I haven't really thought about getting one at the moment, maybe I will, not sure, as it was something that we were both looking forward to doing.

I use Photoshop, but mine, is quite an old version now, I have CS3, the complete collection, it has things on it, that I have never used and probably never will, I looked at updating it, but to be quite honest, this has everything on it that I need, I started off using Adobe Elenents, they are fairly good, but I moved up to CS3 about nine years ago.

Hope you enjoy Poldark, hope you have a good day tomorrow xx

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #152 on: July 31, 2017, 08:49:02 PM »
Hi Woody.My take on things like getting the record player is that although it might be painful doing something alone that you should have done together,the reverse side is that although you lost the greatest love,there is no reason to lose everything you love to do.I went back to dolphin watching because not going wasn't going to bring him back or make me feel any better,all it would do would take away something else.The first time was a mixed bag,but I,m glad now I did go.I think it would be the same with your record player.
I have been using Photoshop for many years now on a daily basis,and i still sometimes have to google how to do something and still get suprises about its abilkitys.its all monthly subscription now rather than major updates,but if I,m honest it does what I need,and yes the updates might do it quicker or automatically but by the time I,be looked at the new way,I can just have done it the old way on autopilot,so unless what I actually wNt to do is new I just carry on as usual.

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #153 on: July 31, 2017, 11:10:48 PM »
Hi Karena,
I think you are right, but I still feel, at the moment, I don't feel comfortable doing things without Janice, I think I need more time before I can bring myself to do that.

With regards to Adobe, I think they are just a money making machine, as I told you, I have CS3, the complete suite, I think it's called, as I said, half of it I don't understand and will never use, but when I looked at CS4, CS5, CS6, the difference for me was minimal and for what they charge, unless you are lucky enough to be able to qualify for the student discount, the amount they charge for it is extortionate. I know obviously in your occupation, you need to be up on the latest technology, I bought loads of massive great thick books, explaining all about photoshop, don't think I have ever read any of them. I think they tend to go into more detail than the average user is ever going to need. I have managed to work out, what I need to do, without a volume the size of War and Peace. I have concentrated more on my cameras, than my editing software, I do like my cameras, I still like to use film, as well as digital. I have never seen a really true Black and White print from digital, but film B/W are excellent. xx

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #154 on: August 01, 2017, 11:17:23 PM »
 :hug:of course you need more time its still very early days.It was 18 months before I went back to Wales,I went back too other places earlier than that,but this was special,this was the place we were going to throw up our lives and move too,and even then the first visit was difficult I thought perhaps I wouldn't do it again but I did,and the next time some of the magic came back but then by the next time I started to feel that I am really close too him there.
I agree Photoshop is probably way over the top for photo editing and your skill is in the taking of the photo,and i think there is always a danger that you can spoil them with faked special effects, where as I,m using it to create graphics which is different.I dont have the camera or the skills to take really good photographs,just an eye for the unusual or an angle.I often use photos as background material  or a part of a whole scene for work there isn't a thing or object to photo,software is just code,in this case it is used to design hardware so the people who do that are the buyers .No matter how well its photographed a microchip or circuit board on a flat surface isn't very exciting, and both are only a part of an electronic design system but there isn't a message there either. but put into a situation those objects and even a representative section of code become something more alive,so for example I have made a cityscape with buidings made from circuit boards,and roads from  a photo of  traffic blurred  so you just see the lights,to give an illusion of speed and flow to advertise an autorouter within the software, the but that's not something that could be photographed because it doesn't exist in any 2 dimensional static graphic form.

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #155 on: August 01, 2017, 11:48:28 PM »
Hi Karena,
I am just amazed, at what you are able to do with your designs, when you talk about code, that is way over my head, I have not got the faintest idea about it, but, I have great respect for you and people that can do these things. A friend of ours, is a computer programmer, well he is retired now, but when we got our first computer, in 2005, he came round to show us how to use it, to be honest, he was going far to quick, and all going over my head, in the end, I said, " Paul, leave me alone, I will figure it out myself, which I did, ironically, I surprised myself, and actually took to it very easily, it even came to the point, where I had my Daughters asking me how to do things on the computer, but I have to say, that my Granddaughters out do me now, so of the things they do, really amaze me.

The youngest Grandaughter, used to really like Fairies, when she was younger, so I took a photo of there back garden, then found a photo of a Fairy Grotto on Google, it put the Fairy grotto photo into the photo of the back garden. The next time I saw the girls, I said to Ava, the youngest, you have got fairies in your back garden, so I showed her the photo, with her garden, with the Fairy grotto, she said Wow, that's great, but straight away, the eldest one said you did that on the computer Grabdad, I said no I didn't, you have got fairies in you garden, she replied with, show me the photo, in your canera, you just can't pull the wool over their eyes, no fooling them anymore.  But we said to them, when you stop believing in The tooth Fairy, Father Christmas, and the Easter Bunny, then you don't get anymore presents, even though they still say, yes, we believe in them, I don't think they do.

It's lovely, in the years, with the kids, when the magic is there, but they soon grow up, I really miss, those early years. xx

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #156 on: August 02, 2017, 08:43:35 PM »
I,m not a programmer,a bit of HTML and that's about my lot.The programmers at work speak an entirely different language to me so if I need to stick some code into a graphic I have to get them to send me it then just copy. It,so not at all clever,but been doing the job a long time and you can't do 16 years of 8 hour days without picking some stuff up.
In our old house we had stone steps that went to no where.It was very old 16 the century so at some point they would have gone somewhere but when we were there just curved round behind the massive fireplace and met the ceiling at the top.But not very toddler friendly,so we used to tell them not to go up there because they would wake the dragon up.I put a stone agg in the centre of a pile of smaller stones and this was the dragons nest so they couldn't pass it.Then in wales I found a smoking dragon,you light incense cone under it so the smoke comes down its nostrils.So if they were being very naughty I would light it and tell them the dragon was getting mad.
They also thought I was a witch because I made magic healing lotion ( comfrey salve) so I didn't put them straight.The eldest know different now of course but at least they didn't grow up thinking all us witches are evil. :rofl:

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #157 on: August 02, 2017, 09:51:18 PM »
Hi Karena,
That has really made me laugh, about the Welsh Dragon, that is absolutely brilliant. The things that we tel kids. Sometimes they backfire on us, when I have said to them, never tell lies, they have come back with, Well, Mummy, Nana and you do, when you said that there were Fairies and the tooth fairy, etc, it's hard then to convince them, that they are not lies, just stories, like Fairy tales.

Have had my eldest Granddaughter Amy, here all afternoon, she had the chance to go to a stage school work shop, this week, as she has been given a scholarship for drama classes, starting in September. Anyway, she went there on Monday, she wasn't that impressed, I said well, it's all new to you, it will be better tomorrow, well it wasn't, she said she felt very left out there, as all the others, had been going there a long time and she said they were very cliquey, Amy, is not by any means shy,but she said none of them wanted to talk to her, I said, Amy, in the world of acting, some of them, have massive great big egos, they all think the are going to be big stars overnight , but the ones with that attitude, never make it, I said it's a very hard thing to got on in, it's very hard work and expect loads of disappointments, when you don't get the parts, but, at the moment, this is what she wants to do, so we have said we will do all we can to support you, the hard work, is down to you. Amy, is very creative, very arty, she also designs some of her and her sisters clothes, which they make between them. I did say to her at one point, why don't you think about being a costume designer or set designer, then get into the acting side through doing that, but at the moment it's all about the acting.

We sat and watched FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM, Amy had already seen it at the cinema, but still wanted to watch it again, I really enjoyed it, the effects in it are amazing.

How has your week been so far, have you managed to finish the AD , that you were working on ?
Been pouring with rain here, most of the day, overcast, but not any cooler xx

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #158 on: August 03, 2017, 10:02:46 AM »
Hi woody.Ad not finished but i,m getting there.

Its good that Amy can talk too you about stuff thats bothering her.I agree with you she needs to stick with it, I did drams at school and a workshop after college.It isnt me at all now, the idea of standing on a stage frightens the life out of me, but it was more about enjoying the narrative anyway -never an ambition.But i do remeber at the college one,they did what was called trust excercises.Some of it was falling backwards and trusting people to catch you (it was the 70,s) but a simple one and one which came out whenever some-one new joined was standing in a circle with a ball and you had to throw the ball and say some-ones name and they had to catch it, not only got to know peoples names but also was a bit of a laugh so broke the ice. Naturally the newbie got the ball first so they couldnt be left out by the others.I hope the teacher/leader spots the difficulty and is able to come up with a creative solution to help her fit in.I havnt seen fantsatic beasts yet, i think both older grandkids might appreciate it though so i will look for it next time i go to town.

Also raining here, and what us notherners call cllaggy, two days no since we saw any daylight.I really hate this kind of weather,totally depressing. I think because we are surounded by hills there never seems to be any sky, so you only get to see a limited expanse and its very dark unless the sun is shining.I shall bear that in mind when i get round to moving and look for somewhere with open views -but then i once lived on top of the moors and that was constantly shrouded in mist so no better.

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #159 on: August 03, 2017, 07:24:22 PM »
Hi Karena,
I had a strange message today, I was replying to a text from our friends, that had gone up to Scotland, for a seaplane trip over Aaron and the isles, it was for John's 70 th birthday, him and his wife, Christine, go to Aaron every year for their holiday, but this was an extra trip .

Right, so I was replying to a text they had sent me, when all of a sudden, my Daughters address and phone number appeared in the message I was typing, I told Christine about this, as she is also a Spiritualist and would often receive messages from Janice. The first thing I thought, was something has happened to my Daughter or Granddaughters, I phoned them straight away and thankfully they are all ok, but there was obviously a reason for this message, but I don't know what.

The girls went and had their nails done today in very vivid Pink, they are off to Spain on Tuesday, they go out there every year, as their Dad's Aunt lives out there, so they stay with her, it's in Alacante.

Hope you have had a good non stressful day xx

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #160 on: August 03, 2017, 08:08:25 PM »
I always think you should go with your instinct on stuff like that.Your instinct was to phone your daughter and you followed it.You may never know why perhaps answering the phone to you created a split second time difference that changed something that could have been detrimental to her or you but didn't happen because of the call.

I,m sure the girls must look fab with their pink nails,

I was up very late last night finally got to sleep about 3 am then woke suddenly with a voice calling my name just once and it was a mans voice,must have been dreaming I suppose but I don't remember dreaming at all which is unusual for me.Anyway as a result was wide awake again so I,m really short on sleep today,almost head butted the computer screen at work at one point when I almost dropped off,but typical am too wide awake now for an early night,maybe I should work nights  :rofl:

Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #161 on: August 03, 2017, 09:42:10 PM »
Hi Karena,
The messages, have just taken a different turn, I have just had a message from my Daughter, saying we are all ok, but she said she didn't send it and I am getting phone calls on my mobile, with No caller ID, just very strange, just don't know what it means, I am worried as they are going to Spain on Tuesday, I can't really tell them not to go, as I am worried something is going to happen.

We all dream, subconsciously, so maybe the voice has been calling you before, but you never heard it, this time, you were at the sleep stage where you dream, and this is probably why you heard it this time, I don't know what that stage of sleep is called, but I am not sure if it's when you are in a really deep sleep. What time did your Husband pass ? The reason I ask is, there are a great deal of people, that pass, between 2am and 3am . Also as you are under pressure at work, that is obviously playing on your mind and causing your dreams.

Hope things at work , are easier for you tomorrow xx
« Last Edit: August 03, 2017, 09:58:50 PM by WOODY »

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #162 on: August 04, 2017, 12:48:19 PM »
 :hug:it does seem very odd -and i know its a waste of breath saying dont worry, because worry is the default position for all of us after losing a loved one.

If there is a message it doesnt mean its something bad at all but perhaps her way of saying happy birthday..Also if you were already worrying about them being in spain  "we are all ok" coming from your daughters phone may have been sent as reassurance that they will indeed all be ok.


Offline WOODY

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #163 on: August 05, 2017, 11:06:44 AM »
Hi Karena,
You are right, we cannot stop worrying.
Sorry, did not reply yesterday, but my Groundhog week, started again last night, had a really bad night.
How are you ? Hope you are having a less stressful time at work now. What have you got planned for the weekend? xx

Offline Karena

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Re: My Wife passed 7 months ago
« Reply #164 on: August 05, 2017, 02:08:31 PM »
 :hug: hope you have a better night soon.
Finished the report and did a first copy of the ad.Needs refining but there are two to chose from now and I,m not spending hours slaving over a hot computer until they decide which one they're going to go with.
Not got anything planned for the weekend really.Had a groundhog Friday myself yesterday,everyone at work all ready to be off on the dot,all going home to family and weekend fun except me. :cray:But have learned to live with that, so it didnt last too long. Spent some timme throwing mealworms to scruffy ,bar of chocolate nice bath and i was ok again
Good thing I didn't have any plans because I got up,went back to bed with my coffee,started reading and stayed reading until gone 10 am,didn't realise it had got that late.Quite funny really the book is about nurses in a Liverpool hospital just after the war but I found myself reading it with a Liverpool accent in my head.I cant even do a liverpool accent out loud,never really noticed myself reading in accents before.And I don't think their Matron was far off the one I had in the 70,s when it came too fearsome.:rofl:
currently making soup. sweet potato,pepper,onion,and tomato.Its called lobbit soup,as in if its not rotten lobbing in the pan.Tomorrow I guess I will have to drag myself out and drive into town for supplies,I seem to be between provisions in the garden,a few half hearted beans is about it,courgettes are hardly formed and likely to rot rather than ripen,they like me are lacking sunshine.
Its my eldests birthday today so they have gone up too the Drakensberg mountains for the weekend.She sent me a lovely photo of an infinity pool,said wish you were here because you're the only one who would be mad enough to go in it.Apparently its cold.Last time I went out there in their winter I took fleeces as instructed,never wore one the coldest it got was 24 degrees.I think she has forgotten what cold is. :rofl: