Recent Posts

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I haven't been on the forum in ages. I have every intention of doing it but don't seem to find the time.

My daughter has one of those wearable fall alarms that contacts a monitoring centre. They can speak to her over the base station and contact other people if there is no response. It's very good but does occasionally go off if she goes down the stairs a bit quick. I can recommend them for price if mind.

In myself I've been plodding along as usual. There are bouts of crying every day still, usually pretty intense but also short lived. I went away for a week with work and that was very hard. I just felt very alone in the hotel room especially at the times I would have been ringing home while away. I may be going back on permanent nights in work as well.

At home I'm still not doing much and I'm getting a bit anti-social. I should have gone to s good friends wedding yesterday but backed out at the last minute. My daughters went and I stayed alone in the house and went to bed early feeling sorry for myself. I really should have gone but couldn't face 'happy couples'.
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: New member
« Last post by Karena on June 25, 2017, 06:54:04 PM »
Hi Kate.I lost my husband 6 years ago.Coming here was a great help because as Dave said writing is therapeutic,also I,m sure others have found too that as time moves on and you feel like you're moving backwards,re reading posts from earlier times helps you realise that you are coping better than you think.Also because people here do understand how difficukt this journey is so we support each other.
Shaking and panic attacks are not unusual.But might be worth having a word with your GP if they continue.In a way I was lucky I was working so didn't have to find a new job,but I did have to move house.Its really difficult when your world has caved in to then also have to make more major changes in your life.
Over time I have learned to cope,I never thought I would though.The acute pain of the early days fades but the ache never really goes away,we build around the gap they leave in our lives but the gap remains.
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: New member
« Last post by Emz2014 on June 25, 2017, 06:33:18 PM »
Sending a welcome hug katie  :hug:
It is all very overwhelming and understandable that it can cause panic attacks.  Simple breathing exercises can help ease a panic attack, I have found a polo mint can help avoid them sometimes (a distraction)
Hope you find it helps being here xx
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Help
« Last post by Katie on June 24, 2017, 10:12:16 PM »
Hi I ama newmember and I totally understand how you feel. I lost my dear husband of 27 years in March and the brutal reality of it all is so overwhelming, that is why I joined because the support and understanding of others who know how and why you feel the way you docertainly helps. Like myself your pain is so raw, I hope we can support each other.
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: New member
« Last post by Dave Administrator on June 24, 2017, 06:28:57 PM »
Hi Katie, so pleased you managed your first post here, it just takes a little getting used to then will be so easy once you become familiar with how things work.

27 years is a real long time to spend with anyone, and to suddenly loose that person comes as a great shock with disbelief it could have ever happened to you.

 I hope when others in a similar position to what your in now will support you here, but let me tell you even just writing down the most inner and bottled up emotions and thoughts that drive you crazy can help with your healing big time.

Some members of past made diaries here to talk to their loved ones kind of a newsy and also love letter, which they then told the group how much this helped them in the early days just like it is for you right now.

I wish you great strength to make it through your journey Katie, and I promise you with all my heart you will get peace return back into your life one day, it just takes little baby steps to get there.
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: New member
« Last post by Karena on June 24, 2017, 05:45:46 PM »
I know ,and its a very frightening thing even if you make a decision,having no one to run it past,no one to say either you're crazy,or its a good idea,even the little things locking the door,checking the smoke alarms,deciding if the child needs medical attention,what's for tea,should I let them play this game/go to the pictures with their mates.suddenly its all down to you and just you and it is really difficult. :hug:
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General Discussion / Re: Do you believe in the afterlife?
« Last post by Karena on June 24, 2017, 05:39:01 PM »
There is nothing wrong with questioning beliefs,I read a great deal of spiritual stuff after losing my husband,about

a lot of different beliefs.We don't know the answers and sometimes that's really difficult when we have been brought up with one set of beliefs,whether that's science or a religion.For me the solution was to believe that there are many possabilities and to embrace them all and rule out none.
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General Discussion / Re: Still crying every day
« Last post by Karena on June 24, 2017, 05:29:46 PM »
Hi cee cee
Its not at all pathetic,sometimes being strong and trying to suppress your own grief at the same time is just too much for anybody.Wanting to hibernate is a really natural response too that.I think I would have stayed in hibernation forever if I hadn't had my dog to look after. :hug:
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / New member
« Last post by Katie on June 24, 2017, 04:38:53 PM »
Hello my name is Katie. I tried to post on here yesterday and got in a muddle so had to ask Dave Administrator to help me. Thank you Dave.  I don't know if anyone saw my message but I found this site and so desperately wanted some help.  I lost my wonderful Adie 5 march he had cancer but always remained so positive. He caught pneumonia and went into hospital but even then he said he was going to get better and come home and despite whar doctors were saying I didn't really grasp what was happening. We were married 27 years he was my soulmate and best friend. I am struggling so much, so lonely and my whole world has collapsed. Family are supportive but they have their own lives and are grieving themselves. We lived for each other and were together 24/7. We were so happy. I get awful panic attacks and shake all over. Has anyone else had that? Adie was only 65 and I am 57. I realise I have to find work but am so lost how can I ever live my life without him?
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General Discussion / Re: Still crying every day
« Last post by Cee Cee on June 24, 2017, 02:02:19 AM »
I lost my Dad last January and I very close friend a few weeks again.  When my father passed I was not able to grieve as my Mum needed my help.  Also my friend who has just died was very ill at the same time ( she battled cancer for 14 years.). I held in my grief as I needed to support both of these women in my life.  Both women took up a great deal of my time, which I have been happy to give.  Sadly my friend lost her battle a few weeks ago and now grief has fit me doubly.  I am a positive, if a little nurvey person.  Depression is not part of my character.  My place of safety in my house is my bed and I have been there nearly ever day since my friend died.  My whole livfe has collapsed.  I just can't cope anymore.  I just seem pathetic. My cat is the only thing that is keeping me alive.
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