Can't cope with the loss of my son

[Cobwebshere]

On the 23/12/16,my world can tumbling down around my ears. I have lost the moist precious person in my life . My darling son my baby went out of the house and hung himself.  I feel completely broken I didn't thin a heart could break but mine has. My son suffered from depression. He had tried a total of 10 times . He asked to be sectioned so that he could get help he was refused. He has been let down badly by the doctors. We have the inquest on Tuesday but it's not going to bring him back. I feel that I let him down I should have done more to keep him safe. I'm
So sad I don't know what to do .
Down
D

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug 
Such a lot of complicated emotions with suicide. Unfortunately grief quite often includes a guilt feeling, a feeling we could have or should have done more. Seems its a normal part of our brain processing our losses.  Talking with us should help xx

[Karena]

  as Emz says the guilt is something most of us here will recognise whatever the circumstances ,having lost a friend to suicide though also after a few attempts,I can understand a little bit of how difficult it is,but I recognise now that there really was nothing more we could have done to stop him.As a mother I know that keeping our children safe,is our main priority and watching them hurting through any illness is so very painful so I am not comparing that loss to yours.All of us here know about this dreadful grief journey and try to support each other along it,and sometimes just having somewhat to write feelings can help to understand them ourselves because in writing to make sense to others,we have to put them in some sort of order in our own head.We will be here for as long as you need us.

[Cobwebshere]

Thankyou, today has been a good day. Tomorrow who knows. Tuesday is going to be bad as it's the inquest

[Karena]

  :hug:will be thinking of you tomorrow.

[Cobwebshere]

Thankyoi

[Norma]

Sending you a massive.  xx

[Cobwebshere]

I'm sure I will be ok after tomorrow . Today has been a good day, I feel empty inside and I have to force myself to do stuff, but once I'm on the move I forget about my son and think he's just upstairs. I say goodnight to him every night like he's still here. I know it sounds daft but it's a comfort

[Karena]

Not daft at all.when my husband died I had to move house but when I did I told myself he had gone out to Egypt to work put his slippers next to the bed and his dressing gown on the back of the door,I knew it wasn't true but sometimes we will do anything to get through the day,and even now I talk too him at times.

[Cobwebshere]

James must be fed up with me nagging him., I ask him why I couldn't help him and I tell him I love him. My wonderful beautiful boy

[Karena]

  I think maybe they are questions he can't answer, but I,m 100% certain he wouldn't be thinking you failed him,or wanting you to feel that you did.