Author Topic: Coping  (Read 2104 times)

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Offline Lynsey1

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Coping
« on: June 11, 2018, 08:05:25 PM »
I lost my husband 10 weeks ago I'm 38 he was my soulmate I can't seem to function without him we done everything together and enjoyed that too I don't sleep well or eat well no more I cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel xxx

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Coping
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2018, 08:22:54 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Coping
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2018, 01:50:22 PM »
 :hug: i know it probably doesnt feel like it but its a very new thing still for you - and seeing the light at the end of this tunnel takes a long time.
It starts with a glimmer, then you often lose sight of that again along the way, because it isnt a straight tunnel but once you have seen the glimmer you can hold onto it through those bends but there is still a long jorney ahead before it even looks like a light.
Every time you get out of bed, run a brush through your hair, do something mundane and everyday - you are taking a small step even though it doesnt feel like it - and then the missing and longing for them panics us - isnt every step we take a step away from them - and we dont want to do that either - i think a major part of this is finding a way, even though theyre not physically here, of taking them with you.
The reson the light of the tunnel is the ethos here is that not only does it give you somewhere safe to talk but we are all grieving and all searching for the light, for those of us further down the tunnel than you it is much clearer -so we reach back and try to offer a hand to those still in the dark but also to keep calling to you - there is a light and you will see it one day.
Sleeping and eating are something many of us struggle with - eating - well for me cooking for myself for the first time since before i had kids was a big step because  when you cook for others you cook with love - loving yourself  and seeing yourself worthy of that effort feels alien.- so i didnt i just picked at stuff -same with sleeping i had a dog back when my husband died and 2,3,4 am would find me tramping the lanes with the dog - it gets better,  creating a routine helps i still wake up at those times but a book next to the bed helps mostly be kind to yourself, sleep when you can and eat when you can - but dont give yourself a hard time when you cant. :hug: