Author Topic: funeral booked  (Read 1858 times)

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Offline sallymk1

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funeral booked
« on: January 09, 2018, 04:16:59 PM »
Hello
Just heard in a text message that we now have a date for the funeral. 25th January - his son is arranging this with daughters help and input from me as I am not able to at the moment due to my emotional state. Yesterday and today have been horrendous, nothing I could do would settle me, even the dogs annoyed me. Could not cope, did not want to eat and could not get to sleep with any methods destructive and constructive ie drink and relaxation. Crying all the time no motivation. Just feel so terrible with persistant black thoughts, looking out of the window now and I don't even know what for.   :cray:

Offline Sean88

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Re: funeral booked
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2018, 12:13:31 AM »
 :candle: hey sorry for your loss i just had my grans funeral last friday she battled cancer for a year its true what you say i so badly wanted her out of pain but she went downhill so quick within 2 weeks she passed and her final days i just wanted 1 more day and i regret not visiting her more in hospital i also just sit and look out id have the tv on but not be watching it in the process of clearing her flat and lookimg at pictures everyday but my family have all gone back to work im stuck at home feeling very down i havent been out the house since her funeral.so its good to try keep busy and keep away from alcohol.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: funeral booked
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2018, 09:02:01 AM »
The early days are so so hard. Hold on in there, try and be gentle with yourself.   Only focus on a day at a time,  at this time our minds often scare us with all sorts of thoughts,  slow down and take baby steps  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: funeral booked
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2018, 10:24:49 AM »
 :hug:At this stage if you can achieve one thing a day thats enough. If you are having some input into the funeral just concentrating on that for now is enough. The funeral itself, like many other of the anniversary days to face in the next year i and others here have found were worse in the dreading than the actual event,

If you can though, do try and get out just for a while with the dogs. I didnt want to see anyone and have to have the conversation which involved me saying the D word -and possibly crying in front of people so took Ben out after dark when no-one was around -doing that really helped as walking did clear my head for a time and wear me out enough to get some sleep at least  -(but dont do it if you are not in a safe area of course)
 
Alcahol is a very temporary fix and actually works as a depressant -its what we reach for though, just to try and temporary numb the pain.
Part of grief is that we realise there is actually no real control of our life and takes away our plans and ideas of how the future will be -Alcahol, for me, increases that loss of control and I feared if i started drinking i just wouldnt stop, so made it a thing to completely avoid it. Also because we had a friend who took to drinking after she lost her mum and Keith had managed to help her get it back under control i  thought about that and what his reaction would be to me doing the same.

Thats really how i got through those days - letting him guide me even though he was no longer here.