Author Topic: New here - feeling sad  (Read 388 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Jenner

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • Karma: +0/-0
New here - feeling sad
« on: January 11, 2018, 05:49:26 PM »
My Dad had a horrible death in November 2016.  He was stuck in a noisy cardiac ward for 6 weeks suffering infection after infection and we couldn't get him out to a hospice - just 5 days before he died the hospital palliative team told us his death was not imminent.   Then my mum died in August 2017 after a short illness while I was on holiday, she was in a Home, sad and lonely and had dementia so I tell myself it was the best thing for her.  I am glad she died before she forgot who I and my brother and sister were.  M and D were both in their 90s so had "a good innings" and their deaths were hardly unexpected, yet in a weird way I thought they'd always be there.  There have been stupid arguments with my siblings over the probate process though things are better now (the first thing one of them did was to ask the others to write off a debt from my parents).
 On the surface I have been coping fine but I have zero patience with anyone at the moment. I miss them both, things happen that I want to tell them about and I can't. I've been feeling very tearful and lacking energy today. I was ill last week so that's probably partly to blame too. The miserable cold wet english weather makes it worse, my kids are at Uni living their own lives and my husband seems to think I should be over it all by now.  So hoping for some support and understanding on here.  Thanks for reading.

Offline Dave Administrator

  • Dave
  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 328
  • Karma: +20/-0
  • Gender: Male
    • BUK Founder
Re: New here - feeling sad
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2018, 06:31:48 PM »
Hello Jenner and welcome.

I'm so sorry for the loss of both your parents and quite close to one another not allowing much time to heal.

This is indeed a very dark time of year and becoming ill was the last thing you needed I'm sure.

Please keep posting, because even just writing down these feelings and getting things off your chest will help, plus hopefully some comforting words from members here totally understanding what you are going through.
Take care and please keep posting however small or large you can manage, we need them.

Offline Karena

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1443
  • Karma: +102/-0
Re: New here - feeling sad
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2018, 06:53:13 PM »
Hi Jenner welcome too the forum.No matter what age they are losing our parents is still a shock because no matter what they have been with us all our lives and are our foundations.August is not that long ago really but  people often do  think we should be recovered before we are. We get through some of the worst things as time passes but getting over it is a silly phrase it suggests forgetting them or breaking the bond we had with them. it can still hit hard when we get an unexpected reminder or think we will tell them something then realise we can't my mum died 14 years ago and that still happens sometimes but I also remember her in a positive way.She is still with me in a sense in so many ways.

Offline Emz2014

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1472
  • Karma: +92/-0
Re: New here - feeling sad
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2018, 08:02:25 AM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug:  that sounds like normal feelings, and for me whenever I've been under the weather or ill it's always been harder to cope with stuff xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx