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How do you move on?

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Jamie96:
My girlfriend died at the age of 19 from bowel cancer in July. She was the love of my life, and i know that sounds cliche, but we just clicked instantly, it was amazing. But then life came along and pulled the rug out from under us.

Its been 5 months now, which isnt a long time, but im struggling to move on. I feel like im stuck in a hole that gets deeper the further out i climb. I feel part of me doesnt want to move on, because moving means theyre gone. Forever. This sadness is the last remaining connection I have to her. When that ends that will be it, and that's scary.

Does/Did anyone else feel like this when they lost a loved one?

Peace and hugs x

Emz2014:
That seems a normal stage of grief for people.  I also remember suddenly being unable to remember how the voice sounded or couldn't picture them in my head, that was horrible, but it was only temporary

Ive lost many people over the years, you never lose what you had with them. You will keep the memories, and they will often pop into your mind years later. If you have people who also shared some time with your loved one you may also find yourself talking about the person you lost from time to time - which keeps them in our memories.  I dont think we ever really get over grief, we learn to live around it again, the scar will become less painful but will be delicate at times in the future xx

Sandra61:
Five months isn't actually very long, Jamie. I'm afraid grief is a long and difficult process and you do often feel like you're stuck in a hole, trying to get out. I think you just have to be patient with yourself and don't expect too much. Little things can help, walking in the park, doing something at least once a week that takes you out of yourself and makes you think about something else, visiting places you went together to bring back happier memories of the person you have lost. It will very slowly get better, but that will take a long time, years probably. I don't think you ever really get over loss, you just build up a new life around it and that is difficult, but for your own sake, you have to try to find a way to do it. I am sure your girlfriend would want that for you. Just take it a day at a time and try to find some solace in little things. It will get very slowly easier as acceptance comes, but you will never forget her, so things will never be as they were and nor should they be. You can't live through an experience like this and remain unaffected, but you can survive it. You just need to find little ways that will help you do that. Sending hugs..xx

CarolineL:
 :hearts: Jamie bless you, I lost my husband 8 months ago and some days I hardly feel the pain at all, can even smile for a while and other days it like trudging through treacle, wears me out but I know the pain will ease, think its your inner self giving you a chance to recover a little until the sadness hits again . Every day you will move on a tiny bit, you are surviving, Keep the happy memories in your heart, you will get through this as will I x

Thea:
My partner died 4 months ago and I am still in a sort of limbo. When I think about it, I can see the slightest of improvements here and there from when it all first happened. I am still struggling to come to terms with everything and I am hoping that visiting this forum will help me to move forward. 

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