Author Topic: 1st post new to this  (Read 5382 times)

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Offline Sarah

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1st post new to this
« on: March 25, 2016, 06:44:34 PM »
Hi I'm Sarah
Not really sure where to start I lost my mum 6 weeks totally out of blue and unexpected. Really struggling to cope with it all. It's also coming up to 9th year anniversary of my dad passing away as well. Just miss them both so much. Feel so alone even though have my husband and 2 boys who have been brilliant. Hope haven't gone on too much. Just looking for but of support xxx

Offline Norma

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2016, 01:24:41 AM »
Hi Sarah sorry to hear about your loss, x
Its been a rough week but i made it. How about you 💐

Offline longedge

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2016, 01:44:28 AM »
Hi Sarah,

I've got two daughters who both miss their Mum terribly. I miss her in a different way because she was half of me. Our (I speak for both of us now) wish would be that our daughters remember us with love but without pain. No parent wants to see their child suffer and prays that the hurt fades quickly to be replaced by fond memories.
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline Cairo

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2016, 06:38:35 AM »
Hi Sarah. Losing someone you love is always painful and when it is unexpected you have to deal with shock as well. Hug your children and husband often. Hold your mum's memory in your heart and don't be afraid to cry or shout. Unfortunately the only way is to feel the pain. You can't get round it. I find guided meditation helps me release what I am feeling but everyone finds their own way to deal with it I think. Big hugs xxx
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I will survive.
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Offline Sarah

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2016, 08:00:48 AM »
Thank u for ur replies I really appreciate it. Its definitely shock and grief that I'm feeling. I have an older sister but I've been left to sort everything out like mums funeral and I'm going through probate now so I can sell the house. I've been off work since I lost my mum had no support from my managers or HR haven't even checked how I am so not looking forward to going back x

Offline Emz2014

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2016, 09:08:58 AM »
 Sorry for your loss  :hug: 
Hopefully you'll find it supportive being here, it's a lovely group
For work, as management are being rubbish are you close to any colleagues, who can help it feel more welcoming to come back?  There is a chance they are meaning well but getting it wrong - my boss decided to stop my team doing a card or flowers as he thought I wouldnt like it, so i didnt hear from my team colleagues.  He had meant well though.  (Or, management might be rubbish, where i would then focus on supportive friends/colleagues instead).  Going back to work can be a hard step but the routine/structure does help. 
Sending a hug xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Sarah

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2016, 09:17:35 AM »
I have some lovely colleagues and they have been very supportive and have been checking up on me 😀 I work in a secondary school so I know the kids are going to be asking where have I been as well x

Offline Dave Administrator

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2016, 09:30:22 AM »
I have some lovely colleagues and they have been very supportive and have been checking up on me 😀 I work in a secondary school so I know the kids are going to be asking where have I been as well x

Hi Sarah.

Don't be to concerned you have not heard from management, because that does happen quite a lot and it's just because they don't know how to deal with someone newly bereaved. You may well find when you go back a very warm welcome and yes they will expect the tears so don't hold back on what should be a very natural thing for you to do and they are prepared for. The children you may also be overwhelmed with by their genuine response in feeling your pain and sharing it with you maybe.  :smiley:
Take care and please keep posting however small or large you can manage, we need them.

Offline Sarah

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2016, 01:48:05 PM »
Yeah think your probably right my manager never talks any way so not sure why I was expecting anything more from her. Hoping getting back into the routine of work will help me x

Offline Joann

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2016, 09:51:07 PM »
Welcome Sarah, am so sorry for your loss. You will find a listening 'ear' on this forum.
Taking it one day at a time.

Offline Jude M

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Re: 1st post new to this
« Reply #10 on: March 27, 2016, 10:32:52 PM »
Hi Sarah, so sorry for the loss of your mum xx
I get up, go to work and survive another day .