Recent loss and feel terrible

[longedge]

There's no should or shouldn't and there's only one person who knows what is right for you Alan. IIRC I took mine down after about 3 weeks. That was when my cleaning lady asked if she could just take them down to dust and, "she would put them back again". That prompted the decision, I took them down and put them in a drawer, but it was me who decided 

Hubby is right about the ups and downs. After almost a year I'm still having really bad days but there's always something that comes along eventually to pull you out of it. For me it's usually my youngest grandson who's just started secondary school.

[Norma]

Just reading all your posts, brings the memory of the cards when i lost my hubby, i had them up for nearly a month, just couldnt bring myself to move them, it heartened me to see how many people sent there condolences, then all at once i stopped being heartened by them and i got angry, that was the time for me to take them down, of course i still have them in my memory drawer along with the ones from when i lost my son, 29 year ago, and both mum and dads, it doesnt seem right to throw them away, my whole life is in that drawer. But its 2 years for me now, i mostly get along okay, will never get used to the loneliness, still have bad days where i just want to curl up in a ball, but those days pass, hugs to you all xx

 

[alan2273]

Thanks for your replies, I will leave them up till I feel the time is right to remove them.

[Julie Magson]

I kept mine up for a good few weeks after the funeral because it felt like I was surrounded with love. I then decided to collect them up and I put them all together in a glass bowl on the windowsill, where they still are- just over four months later.

[alan2273]

It is now six months today since Dorothy passed away, I still miss her so much.
I do not cry so much now, but occasionally a memory will cause the tears to flow.
The loneliness does not seem to get any better, but I have now accepted that I will never see my soulmate again.
I do not know if I will ever be able to move on, but the only alternative is becoming a lonely old man, which my wife would not have wanted for me.
How fast time passes, it still seems like only yesterday that I was holding her hand as she passed into the next world, I was certainly not prepared for the grief thar I am still experiencing, but it is starting to lessen.

[longedge]

I have now accepted that I will never see my soulmate again.

This happened to me at around the same time Alan and I felt that it was a waypoint for me.

After 18 months I still have really bad days but I'm well through all those first anniversaries that seem so bad as they approach but afterwards turn out to be no better or worse than any other day (at least that's my experience).

I've got my 70th coming up in April so I'm wondering how that will go. I'm taking the whole family out for a meal so I'll have plenty of company but like every family event that happens now it's tinged with a "if only Chris could have been here to see this" thought.

Like you I can't see that things are going to change a deal for me now *but* the days are getting longer and the daffs are out in the garden, if only Chris could be here to see them  .