Author Topic: Introducing myself  (Read 4735 times)

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Offline ML100

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Introducing myself
« on: March 01, 2017, 10:26:57 AM »
Hello, this is my first post. In the past 12 months I've lost my mum and 2 babies, as well as my grandmother-in-law. I've never even started to be over one thing before the next thing happened. How do people cope with multiple bereavements?

Offline fishermanmike

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2017, 12:47:25 PM »
hi just seen your post,i am also new to this i am so sorry for your losses
i lost mum and wife may/dec 2016 i am at a loss to what to say but hope others on this forum will help you more
in my thoughts and prayers

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2017, 01:27:03 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline longedge

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2017, 01:47:56 PM »
Welcome (to you both). Just having a safe place to come to, even if it's only now and then, where you are amongst others who know and understand and where you're free to speak as you wish has helped me. Hope it helps you as well.
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline ML100

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2017, 02:52:16 PM »
Thank you for your kind words and I'm very sorry for your losses too. I'm struggling today and finding I'm really anxious about the next bad thing to happen. It's hard to see a future as I just feel I'm counting down the clock to the next loss.

Offline fishermanmike

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2017, 03:57:43 PM »
hi george thanks for the message i hope it will help me to live with the loss as well but dont how just yet
feels like my head will explode at the moment any advice is always welcome
  mike

Offline longedge

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2017, 04:41:39 PM »
The early days are so painful Mike. They're just a blur for me now really. If you're lucky enough to have good friends and family, hopefully they'll help but sometimes I found that the only thing I could do was crawl into a shell (usually my bed) and wait for the sun to come up again as it always does. We're all different but I reckon there's a broad spectrum of emotions, feelings and reactions that we all experience at one time or another.

One of the things that makes me sad now is knowing how unsympathetic I've been in the past with people in my position. I simply didn't understand and I cringe remembering some of the things that I have said to people that I now know would have been hurtful. The only good thing about it is that I was aware of this right from the outset and it helped me not to take what people said to me in the wrong way.
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline fishermanmike

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2017, 05:09:47 PM »
thanks for that george it must be difficult for you to reply i hope i have not caused any distress
im in early stages and will rely on others to help
many thanks mike

Offline longedge

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2017, 06:59:31 PM »
Hey Mike, not at all we're free to contribute or not after all.

I'm full of admiration for those who respond so readily to new forum members, something that very often defeats me. I've lost track of the number of times I've typed out responses and then had second thoughts when I wonder to myself whether I'm being helpful or not.

It might sound stupid but I used to rely on Chris to tell me what I thought. I was always one to speak and then put my brain into gear whereas she was far more astute than me and more often than not would point out in a way that made it so clear that I was wrong  :rolleyes:   :smiley:.
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline fishermanmike

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2017, 07:45:51 PM »
hi it does not seem stupid to me at all. from saying or doing i to relied on my wife krystyna
to keep me from saying or doing the wrong things i hope she would have agreed with me reaching out to others now.
hope i can make her proud of me.
do you have family for support i have a daughter and two grandchildren

Offline longedge

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2017, 09:33:08 PM »
Hi Mike, I see you have another thread running and I'll reply to you there  :smiley:

ML100, I'm sorry, I've diverted your post, but as far as your question about how people cope goes, I wonder this myself all the time. I think that one way or another, we just do. The thing that helps me through difficult times is telling myself that I've got to keep going for my family. It would have been easy in the past for me just to give up on myself but I simply couldn't do that for the sake of those that I love, I have to keep going for them.
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline fishermanmike

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #11 on: March 02, 2017, 12:26:13 AM »
hi just back not sure what another thread means i have only been computer literate! a short while george

Offline longedge

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #12 on: March 02, 2017, 11:22:34 AM »
 :smiley: - the post that you started yourself Mike. I think that a thread is usually thought of as the initial starting post and then subsequent additions are posts but as far as I'm concerned either one will do :smiley:
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline Bertie

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #13 on: March 02, 2017, 07:08:25 PM »
Hello
My husband died in July a day before his 62 nd birthday, I met him when i was 17 and on Sunday we would have been married 29 years. I have never lived on m own and it's lonely, I feel so so angry that he did this.

Offline Hubby

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Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #14 on: March 02, 2017, 11:02:26 PM »
Hi Bertie.

Anger is a normal part of grieving. I often get angry at my partner for leaving me in this world of pain. It's not real anger at her of course. It's just anger at the situation I find myself in misdirected.

ML100, I am so sorry to hear of your losses. I don't know how people cope with multiple bereavements. I am finding it hard to cope with one.

I wish you both strength