This must be a difficult dilemma,and not knowing you or her its not easy to answer.One thing that is clear from what you have written is that you are a very caring person, and I,m sure your wife knows that already.My advice would be to ring her and ask her what she would prefer over going out there.A lot of school/college work is done over the internet now,so its possible your daughter would be able to do her work remotely,so that's something you or she could ask her year tutor about,if your wife would like you to go now,perhaps if you have the answer to that in place it would also help your wife decide as she may have the same concerns.
Grief is a journey that takes time, so when she gets home don't expect her to go back to normal or that if she seems too,grief won't hit her at other times,its a roller coaster journey of emotions.So if there are specific things that you struggle with you are welcome to come back here and we will try and support you in supporting her.Or she would be welcome to join herself.