Author Topic: Weekends are a very bleak place  (Read 4226 times)

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Offline Badger55

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Weekends are a very bleak place
« on: March 19, 2017, 12:26:53 PM »
It is only 3 weeks since my partner Simon died suddenly.  The funeral has not yet taken place, but I am already finding evenings and weekends a very bleak place.  I have no family or close friends.  Simon fulfilled that part of my life and I now feel so alone and frightened of how I am going to cope alone in the future without him.  Will these feelings ever pass and will I be able to cope with being so, so alone from now on?
« Last Edit: March 19, 2017, 12:59:41 PM by Badger55 »

Offline Norma

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2017, 07:35:44 PM »
You wont believe it at the moment Badger but you will learn to cope with your loss, im not going to tell you it will be soon because 3 weeks is no time at all, until youve had the funeral It will still feel like a nightmare to you, all you can do is take it a day at a time. Youll be up and down like a roller coaster, but you will start to have longer good periods, just dont beat yourself up xx

 :hug:
Its been a rough week but i made it. How about you 💐

Offline Badger55

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2017, 06:31:40 AM »
Thanks Norma.  The funeral is in a couple of weeks and I have been uming and ahing about facing his ex-wife an children (I am persona non grata).  I went for a walk yesterday to 'process' my thoughts and it suddenly dawned on me that, yes, the funeral marks the end of a chapter for me with Simon.

I have spoken to three friends who have suffered loss, who have all said, as you have, that it is like a roller coaster and some days I will feel moments of normality and calmness.  I do not want to tempt fate, but I think this may be starting to happen.

Offline Rosaleen

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2017, 08:48:03 AM »
Wishing you strength
 :hearts:

Offline Hubby

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2017, 09:34:13 PM »
Hi badger. Sorry to hear if your loss.

Losing a partner does leave a great big void that needs to be filled and evenings and weekends make that even more obvious. It does get easier but it's never going to be easy to rebuild our lives after such a massive change.

Wishing you strength  :hug:

Offline Rolande

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2017, 04:27:07 PM »
Hi Badger
Sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband of almost 40 year. It's 10 weeks today. I hate Thursdays.. I know how you feel regarding week ends. I've yet to spend one alone as I'm with the children every weekend. I am dreading it though.
Yesterday I went out for lunch with a friend and I laughed..for the first time since my husband died I felt a bit "normal". So it seems that with time it will become easier??? Take one day at the time Badger. Sending a hug   :hug:

Offline Badger55

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2017, 06:22:38 PM »
Thanks Rolande.  I am sorry to hear of your loss.  I have a few friends who have also suffered bereavement.  They keep telling me that it gets easier with time.  That is all I can hang on to for now.  I am really pleased that you went to lunch with your friend and felt a bit of normality.   :hearts:

Offline Badger55

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2017, 08:10:28 AM »
Just an update - I have decided to try the sertraline.  Have decided to accept and help that is on offer to me right now.

Love Badger xx

Offline Hubby

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2017, 08:54:17 AM »
I think that's a wise decision.  :hug:

Offline Julia

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2017, 09:00:11 PM »
Oh Badger, I'm so sorry for your loss!  My partner died unexpectedly in the end of Feb, I have also opened up only to a few closest friends as our relationship was secret. We've started having feelings for each other 1,5 years ago, he had been in a troubled relationship for 7 years and finally started making plans to move out when we fell in love with each other.
We built dreams, hopes, viewed apartments together, and then he died so unexpectedly :(
 Weekends and evenings are nightmare for me too, I feel so lonely, and work is also very difficult, because we used to work together, so I currently don't have a place where I feel comfortable.. 
I really hope you will soon start finding little crumbs of joy in your daily life :hug:

Offline Badger55

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2017, 05:12:26 PM »
Do not know whether it is because I have been able to sit in the sunshine on the patio for the first time, or that the sertraline is now working, or that I enjoyed my exercise class for the first time again today, or that I met a friend for coffee this afternoon, or that I am shortly going to make a leek and pasta dish to have with some red wine, but today - dare I say - I have felt some pleasure at last.  Howled like a Banshee watching Blackadder last night though.  One of Simon's favourite TV programmes. 

Wishing much love to everyone on here
Badger xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2017, 05:51:22 PM »
That's pretty much the name of the games with the ups and downs.I,m glad you had a better day though,I,m sure the sunshine makes a huge difference.I used to try and remember key moments of better days and store them to remind me that they can exist and they can happen again.

Offline Badger55

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Re: Weekends are a very bleak place
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2017, 06:20:37 PM »
Thank you for that lovely thought Karena.