Author Topic: My children are grieving  (Read 2106 times)

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Offline Rolande

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My children are grieving
« on: March 26, 2017, 05:52:06 PM »
Hi again. Just got back from my daughter's where we celebrated Mother's Day as a family.

I feel so bad when I burst in tears in front of my daughter, son in law, son, daughter in law and grandkids, but sometimes I just can't help it. They are all suffering and grieving and I feel I add to it. They worry about me and that makes me feel guilty. I try so hard not to show too much specially in front of the grand-children (youngest 5 years old).

Hate this grieving! And I miss my husband so much. 10 weeks now Charles died. I read other people's post and some of them are still in this forum after 2 years.. Don't know if I can survive this pain for years!!

I'm sorry, this post is all over the place.. Just needed to unload.

Offline Dave Administrator

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Re: My children are grieving
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2017, 02:54:32 PM »
Hello Rolande.

What a touching post you made here and your bravery in front of the small children is so commendable and the hardest thing to do for you at this very early stage I'm certain.

Yes members are here for 2 years maybe more sometimes we are all different in how bereavement gets to us but please don't think you will be in this exact same unbearable pain you have now because I promise you Rolande that will not be the case.

Posting here so helps get those bottled up emotions out of you, so don't hold back, let them out and the healing tears too.
Take care and please keep posting however small or large you can manage, we need them.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: My children are grieving
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2017, 04:29:29 PM »
Could also consider by allowing your emotions out, you let your loved ones in, and they are able to try and help/be there for you.  Seeing you upset will also let your grandchildren know its ok to not be 100% ok all the time - which could help teach them resilience.  Mental health difficulties and depression are on the rise, maybe we need to be a bit open so children grow up knowing its ok to need support or ask for help sometimes  :hearts:

I know we've said on other posts that the 2nd year can be as hard - the intensity/pain doesn't stay the same, it does change and you will find better/easier days grow between the bad. We learn to cope, and you may see from any notes about BUK meets there can be some laughter too at times.  Hold on in there - in the darkest days it doesn't feel possible, but it is  :hearts: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Rolande

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Re: My children are grieving
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2017, 05:39:41 PM »
Thank you to you both  :hug:

Offline Hubby

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Re: My children are grieving
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2017, 08:37:44 PM »
It's strange that we try to stay strong for our families, and they for us, just at the time we need each other the most. It's probably something we learned from previous generations who hid their grief from us when we were young. You say you try hard to hide it from your family especially the little ones but it must a good thing to let the children see that it is normal to be sad following a loss.

It does get easier to cope with time. Try not to think of how you will survive it for years. You only have to get through one day at a time till you are stronger.

 :hug: