Author Topic: better late than never  (Read 1977 times)

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Offline Ratley

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better late than never
« on: April 14, 2017, 08:48:35 PM »
Hello,
I have just realized that despite being a member here since October 2016 I have never written a post to introduce myself.
Some of you who come into chat have already become good friends and will know that I lost Lee the 'Man of my dreams' (his words not mine lol-but he wasn't wrong) on 14th August 2016.
we had known and been good friends for 30 years and for the last 6 of those been partners and very much in love both regretting the time we had 'wasted'. We got engaged on the 25th December 2015 and planned to get married 24th June 2017. We found out about the cancer on the 14th July 2016 and at that point my world crashed around me. Lee remained very strong and took it all in his stride even suggesting we brought our marriage forward to the 2nd August 2016 he was such a good man and did not want to depart without honoring the promise he had made to me. Very shortly after our marriage he became unable to communicate which was heartbreaking to see. I did my best by caring for him fulltime while he was in the hospice, we worked together to get him to the end as best we could, he did not want nurses helping he had me for that and together we were strong.  There was so little time to say farewell (its only for a while - we will meet again). it sounds like we were sad but we had board that Lee asked visitors to sign - 97! yes 97 visitors in two weeks it was manic with a lot of laughter but he enjoyed his last days as best he could in true Lee fashion. Yes I am crying while I type this but I refuse to be an unhappy person, Lee would be mortified if he thought he had done that to me. He was a very laid back and easy person to get on with, he was with out doubt the most peaceful man I have ever met I do not know anyone who did not like him.
So that's the story so far...
Me.. I'm ok (and if i'm not now -I will be)

My nick name Ratley came from Lee (Lurch) and I use it often but sometimes I also like to be known as  Julie
I don't very often come on here but can be found in the chat room sometimes.
Please take care of yourself because if you are here reading this I know that you also have lost someone you love very much.
One thing this has taught me is that life is very precious and possibly very short, I have never been a brave person but life is for living and our lost ones need us to honor them in the best way we can by living life to the full while we are able x



Offline Norma

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Re: better late than never
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2017, 09:24:30 PM »
Massive (( hug)))  Julie although i have got used to Ratley lol, i can imagine the tears as you wrote your story xxx

 :hug:
Its been a rough week but i made it. How about you 💐

Offline Emz2014

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Re: better late than never
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2017, 08:42:20 AM »
 :hug: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: better late than never
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2017, 01:29:55 PM »
I also read your story with tears in my eyes as it reminded me very much of a loss in my past.I hope that writing it helped,I found writing really helped cut through that brain fog and being confused about emotions.This has happened twice to me and I also lost my parents and each time has been different but it was only the last time that I had this place to come too and it did help a great deal.
I imagined meeting my husband in another life and having a conversation in which I had done nothing with my life after he taught so hard to keep life,and so that was my motive to keep going,go to the places we loved and do the things we planned or he would have loved to do.It has meant pushing my own bounderys sometimes,doing things I would have watched him do rather than do myself and of course life can't all be one big adventure I have to work and save to be able to do it but there is always incentive in the planning.But one thing I do know is that should we ever have that conversation it will be longer and more interesting than it would have been back then,although sometimes I have been so certain he is with me I will just be telling him something he already knows.