Hello
My name is Nicky and I'm 47. I'm married and have a daughter who 7. We have two dogs -Bobby: a cavochon who is 2 in August and Teddy: a rescue and we think he's about 10 months.
The reason I've joined the forum is my 43 year old sister died on Christmas Eve 2016. I've experienced death before and therefore bereavement with different levels of intensity. My Dad died in 2009 and and both sets of grandparents have also died. I also suffered a miscarriage in 2011. However I have never experienced grief that has effected me so severely. It feels like that at my very core there is an earthquake that is constant. I feel like I'm dragging myself through each day and my heart is broken and surrounded by lead holding it together. Physically I'm exhausted and suffering with headaches. Emotionally I feel depressed, angry and some days I find myself saying life is just too hard. Mentally the simplest tasks are overwhelming. I know this is the difficult journey of grief and as time progresses some days feel less difficult than others.
My sister was an alcoholic and was not the same loving, funny, kind person that she was before she allowed the alcohol to take over. She left a 17 year old daughter who had lived with me on and off from the age of 10. I just need to talk to others who can emphatically understand. I feel so alone with this grief which is making it harder.
