Hi Julieanna,
I notice from your other post that you have children to look after and I know that can make you feel you have to be strong for them, but you need to make time for yourself too and perhaps you can get support from them also.
I found it helped to revisit some of the places I had visited with the person I lost. It helped bring back memories of happier times. Perhaps that is something you could do as a family. I know some people write messages to the person they have lost and attach them to balloons that they release at the place they remember going to with that person. That might be a way of remembering your husband with your children and something you can share together. Just a thought.
Otherwise, how about you all put together an album of favourite photos of him? That can also provoke happier memories that you can share together. I know some people also have a memory box with items in it that have some special memories or sentimental value to them. Others start a memory book or write memories on scraps of paper that they can put in a jar, so that when they are missing the person they have lost, they can pull one out at random and relive that happy memory to help them. All these things can combine to help you hold the best memories of the times you spent with your lost loved one close to bring you comfort when you need it and to help you process all that has happened.
Little things helped me too, like having flowers around, walking in the park, where I could think and feel calm and peaceful. Perhaps a picnic with the family to the park might help all of you. A lot of people get benches placed at a location that has significance for them and the person they have lost, so that they have a place to go to to remember them. I find it comforting to read the inscriptions on them and see that people who have passed are still remembered with love by others.
If you had plans or ambitions with your lost loved one, it can also help to follow those through. It is a way of taking that person forward with you into your future, because you can do it for them and after all, no one we lose is ever really going to be completely gone from our lives, because we carry the memories of their time with us always and can still hear what they would say to us in different situations and the advice they would give. So, he is still with you in a way, even though he is gone from this life. You may or may not have a theory on an afterlife, but everyone leaves a legacy of some sort behind them, even if it is only one of happier times past, so he will never be truly gone from you, no matter what.
Try to take care of one another and slowly, day by day, you will find your way forward and if you can find a way to do that that helps you feel he is still with you, if only in spirit, that may help. Talking is good, so keep doing that too, whether with your family or here. We all know what you are going through, because, sadly, we are going through something similar. Sending you strength and sympathy..xx
