Author Topic: Lost mum almost 4 months ago  (Read 5212 times)

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Offline BT

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Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« on: August 10, 2016, 10:39:10 PM »
Hi all
I have been reading this site for a few months and it brings me comfort in the distressing time I am going through.  I lost my mum almost 4 months ago.  I miss her terribly.  She was rushed to hospital having suffered a heart attack.  She never recovered and the ventilator was switched off the following week.  Please can someone tell me ask you feel lonely and isolated at this time?

Offline Norma

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Re: Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2016, 07:02:53 AM »
Welcome BT, four months isnt long, loneliness and idolation are part of the grieving process, it will get easier to cope with the loss of your mum but, take small steps, it cant be rushed. Xx
Its been a rough week but i made it. How about you 💐

Offline BT

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Re: Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2016, 11:28:46 AM »
Thankyou for the reply I try to take one day at a time. Grief strikes unaware I seem to be have good days then bad days

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2016, 06:38:37 PM »
Sending a welcome hug BT.  :hug:
Unfortunately grieving is not a quick process, it takes time and plenty of baby steps. It's a rollercoaster but here everyone understands. Keep talking with us xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline BT

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Re: Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2016, 07:02:07 PM »
thanks for your message.   Today I went to a new supermarket which only opened last week but has been planned for a while.   As I walked in I thought I'll tell mum... Mum and me use to sumise what it would be like when it finally opened. 

Offline Susievic

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Re: Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2016, 08:10:14 PM »
hi BT, i lost my father to a sudden heart attack 18 months ago.  He had sucessfully completed radiotherapy for cancer, given the all clear, then that happened a months later....

I remember feeling just lost..so sad, shocked..  I found it hard as i felt i had to be strong for my mum.
 
I promise in time it will start to get a bit easier to cope, think of memories. I remember thinking I will never cope, but you can start to smile again.  Its so true, small steps, time...some days will be sadder than others
I now keep a little book on me and if I think of a memory of him when out and about, I note it down.  It's taken time but i like to think of memories.

I remember reading something that resonated with me, it was along the lines that wouldn't it be good to try and enjoy life again, smile, laugh, relax, eat good food, walk in the sunshine, see trees, fields, see friends etc.   its hard, but I am trying.


Offline Hubby

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Re: Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2016, 08:57:48 PM »
There will be plenty of moments like that BT. Look on them as reminders of how close you were.  :heart:

Offline Julie Magson

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Re: Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2016, 03:16:04 PM »
Yes I've found myself saying things like that - 'Oh Alan will like that' or 'Oh I'll tell Alan that when I next visit him in hospital'.

Offline BT

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Re: Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2016, 09:27:52 PM »
Thankyou susievic for sharing your sad story about your dad.  I was in total shock in hospital when my mum was on the ventilator, I couldn't string a sentence together. 

Offline Susievic

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Re: Lost mum almost 4 months ago
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2016, 09:59:26 PM »
hello BT
The hospital part was very traumatic, hard to not think of, you are right its the shock of it, your brain can not accept its happening.how has it come to this...
The hospital part will fade too and you will not think of it so much. 

My dad went to Las Vegas a few years ago, he loved it, he always told me I should go, as my partner and I said we would for about ten years, so although 5 months after he died, we did. I got upset the day we went and and a few times naturally whilst there, but we had a lovely time.  Felt he would have been happy we finally did it. 

None of my friends have lost parents as yet, I envy the safe bubble they are in but also glad they are still in it.  I do not talk to them about him really. 
Its not the same now,  but my dad would hate me to be unhappy, i try and follow that.

I must admit the Olympics and how well we are doing is cheering me up.